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Don’t Drag Me Back to Hell

written by: Naseha Sameen

@nasehaSameen

 

I look in the mirror, Darkness looks back.
An Abyss opening; To take me to its depth.
Devoured souls wail with agony
Hell hounds rip them – shred by shred

I remember, I remember it all
Cries were frozen in throat
When molten lead of sweet sarcasm sizzled me
Inside out, while I searched for approval

I searched for a moment when I would be
A part of the group, weird child was I always
No good was I, my blood was tar black
I lived because I could not die

I opened my mouth, thorns spewed out
Hurting my soul, every moment I sunk deeper
Crossed a lane, leaving behind the blazing sun
The blasting eyes that looked down on me

I made my own world, brick after brick
Took me years to smile radiantly
Took me years to go out and meet the world
Took me years to say, yes I can, and I will

Each day, I explored a gift that was me
It was a merry, white and snowy Christmas
I crossed another bridge, found a similar land
Similar faces, a life where smiles were rare

I was a stranger again, fighting the evils in me
Not to sink again in boiling tar of self-doubt
To preserve what I had built, to cherish me
I fight a battle with my genes to be what I am
I am fighting a war with my instincts that says Give Up
Crawling my way out of the fast engulfing sink hole
That threatened to take all that I have created in last years
And give me back a frightened, angry, afraid girl who spew gloom

Don’t drag me back to hell, it took years to patch the soul
To hold the mirror and for once see a smile looking back
I did trade my soul for your happiness, give up my life
Never good was any of it. I am fading, I can keep no more

Let me be, holding the frayed, chewed and breaking rope of hope
I want to hold it as long as I can, till hands go numb, icy and heavy
Don’t drag me back to a place I have crawled out from. It was never my home,
I would never be home, I would be just a shadow of the lesser person

Naseha Sameen

Naseha Sameen

Naseha was born in a town encapsulated by two rivers, inhabited by people who celebrate on the face of natural calamities. It is a one-millennium old city, Cuttack which breathes of tales if only one can listen. Silent starry nights, noisy cracking dawn, lazy afternoon loaded with champak odor, giggling evening and early retreat of the day, all planted seeds of stories in her. After Master’s Degree, she moved to the hustling metropolis of Gurgaon where she crunched numbers and provides realistic strategies to corporates for a living. Once out of office, she quickly became the dreamer that she is and starts writing while watching the foggy, slumber like morning of the metropolis that she fell in love the moment she stepped in Gurgaon. After 14 years, life gave her an opportunity to move to a new city. She parted with Gurgaon as friend and has moved to the city of Pearls, Hyderabad to make the city her own and her, a part of the city.
Naseha Sameen

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