written by: Luiz Syphre
A sentence where three letter abbreviations of commonly used phrases are used in conjunction with regular English words to form a complete thought.
Example of Teenglish used to form a written thought:
"WTF Honey!...FYI and TBH, I hate these new abbreviations that are coming out everyday! POS phone, SMH!
More information on Teenglish:
Teenglish is mainly used in a language that involves the use of both thumbs pecking on to a fluorescent screen. However, the use of just one thumb is common when the other hand is busy at a steering devise (usually round) or jamming nutrition into an orifice located in the creature's face.
It is believed that this orifice once created sounds by using a voice box in combination with exerted wind from the lungs (as in opposed to using wind expelling from other orifices). Although not confirmed, it appears that this sound was used for communication with members of the same species.
Scientists have also found strong evidence that when spouses or partners would make this sound to one another, it would turn into an irritating and unrecognizable noise labeled as "bitchin".
Evolution of Teenglish and the species:
As these fluorescent screens continue to be smaller and better integrated into the lives of these species, the natural evolution process will lead the species into major changes.
A fact is that communication thru sound will cease to exist. There is already proof that even the best acquainted of these species like spouses or mates become a string of words in a fluorescent screen and no more. Teenglish is not only present in the civilization now, but it continues to grow and expand...leaving less and less communication thru sound. All personal interaction will fade if the given model doesn't make the proper adjustment. Even when "sound" communication is available, the species peck away their BRB and WTFs on their new, what seems to be new lovers, often with the same name of Galaxy or Apple. Everyday, intimacy becomes distant as feelings and intimacy struggle and fight with Teenglish for attention.
Implants will soon take place so that the species do not develop more back problems as they spend up to 20 hours a day with their neck down looking at their fluorescent screen. These implants will allow the subjects to have a direct picture in their line of sight which should help to ease the strain on their backs. Conspiracy theorists believe that these implants will better hide the subliminal commands given to the unaware species already. They argue this by pointing at the lethargic state the studied subjects seem to be under when on their screens.
Examples of this conditioning include:
Accidents with their four wheel machines.
Irritable mood if away from screen.
Lack of communication and intimacy with partners.
Too many other to list…
The species is, with no doubt, halfway there. Even "bitchin" will be missed once the changes are final and the species mutes out....(maybe not).
"This has been a special report on the progress on the species at Mars. Reporting live from my Samsung, driving a big rig truck, back to you Kathy…."
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR:
I was at work waiting for a load and I started thinking about this real problem and I figured this way the best way to voice it.
Most of my pieces come from personal experience and true to me. Sometimes my material is raw, other times murdeous, and yet other times romantic, but always me, 100% authentic guaranteed.