Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder ... written by Anne G at Spillwords.com

Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder …

Absence makes the heart grow fonder …

written by: Anne G



An old English Proverb that made me wonder, so I sat awhile to think and ponder.


Absence makes the heart grow fonder… but does it really?

Would my heart grow fonder if someone I loved desperately or cared for immensely removed him or herself from my life for a prolonged period? Would the circumstances and reasons for the separation or distancing involved make the difference between forever or never again?

Cause and Effect


Distance and time can slowly erode the image and eventually change our conceived perception of the absent one. Memories can fade with the passage of time. Feelings diminish consequently dulling the willing mind.

The individual experiences a plethora of feelings and emotions. Sadness is replaced by anger, anger with reasoning, reasoning leads to adaptation. This is how we human beings protect our minds, hearts and our very spirits. Time becomes the healer and distance, the equalizer. Consolation replaces heartbreak giving one the ability to move on, move forward, conquer, survive.

Eventually we go into self-preservation mode shutting off emotions and restricting the flow of human sensibilities which feeds the poetic heart.  It is our very own innate human nature and in our own best interests we do so. After all, is it not true one must love oneself first to love another?

After much thought, I have concluded that the proverb “Absence makes the heart grow fonder…” although poetically appealing to the human psyche can only be sustained as a notion and considered a truism when separation is initiated by pure altruistic intention that beyond physical and emotional necessity. In the absence of true and selfless love absence will not cause the heart to grow fonder, all the contrary.  The passage of time will allow the heart to grow colder and tragically indifferent translating into “out of sight, out of mind”.

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