There’s a ringing in my ears
and blurred lines in my vision.
My head sways and floats about,
as my mind tries to stay conscious.
My stomach twists and turns
in the most unusual manner,
while my heart pounds and pumps
electricity through my veins.
Everything is too bright,
too heavy for me to hold.
Drip by drip the IV works to guide me back to life
as the psych nurse tells me that there are better days to come.
That there’s help to be offered,
that recovery from depression is possible.
I nod and smile at her,
hopelessly knowing I will never walk that path.
Frankly I really just can’t believe it.
I used to puzzle over how anyone could ever want to end their own life.