Jam Doughnuts X Infinity, a poem by Miriam Devaprasana at Spillwords.com
Leon Ephraim

Jam Doughnuts X Infinity

Jam Doughnuts X Infinity

written by: Miriam Devaprasana



Ours was a love
of faraway looks and wistful sighs
with screams of longing
whispered gently through the night
and palms which shook from inner doubts
overwhelmed with bursts of hope and fear

Ours was a love of unknown words
burdened to utter; burdened to hide
yet reflected between the gaze
of brown and green

Truth came knocking on our door many times
but my naïve little heart
turned deaf to Her cries

even after our love
played its final movement for me

In search of relief
I took to merriment, and drink,
and inhalations of pleasure
but nothing could gift respite to my bitter joyous soul

Until they rang – the bells
and Death stood before like a friend
and all at once, it appeared
in a vision of glorious ecstasy
You – a woman, a man, a child, a spirit

beckoning; inviting; calling.

So I took the pieces that were left
brought it before your holy seat
to lay it at your feet
but you reached down and picked them up
before they even felt the ground
held them safe in your hands
looked, smiled,
placed them in a bag around your neck
held it tightly to your chest
and said,

And I knew then
that no one would ever be able to love me
the way you did, and always have
Jam doughnuts X Infinity



‘Jam doughnuts X infinity’ was how I told someone I loved them.
It didn’t go the way I wanted it to, but the phrase lingers in my heart every time I think of them.
The love we shared, as short and unsuspecting as it was, will remain for as long as jam doughnuts exist in our vocabulary.
I wouldn’t want it any other way.

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