Letting Go
written by: Megan Sweet
“Why can’t you just let go?!” my boss snapped, and whoosh! I’m thrown into a deep, dark pit, looking up at her, begging to be seen. Desperate for her to understand my pain and confusion.
“Mom, you need to let me go!” he pleads. And I see all ages of him, from toddler to teen, my sweet baby who has experienced more of life’s pain than his age should allow, and I want to wrap him in my arms and keep him safe just a little bit longer.
“You need to let that shit go! Move on!” my people say. Their love is there, but so is their impatience. They can’t understand why I let others’ words and deeds haunt me. As if letting go is as simple as releasing a balloon into the wide open sky. Instead, I allow the pain to drag me to places I fear I will never emerge from.
I want to let go, I do, but I can’t. Instead, the more I try to let go, I grip even harder. Grasping and pulling, as if I could tame life with my sheer will. Life coming at me hard, hard, hard, and my knuckles are white with the effort to JUST HOLD ON.
But, things start to break and crumble anyway. Pieces falling away and turning to dust in my fists until there is nothing left to hold onto.
Standing there, empty hands at my sides, surrounded by the destruction of my fear, I realize that because I didn’t let go, I lost anyway.
- Letting Go - September 10, 2026
