Pen to Paper written by Kyle Theobald at

Pen To Paper

Pen to Paper

written by: Kyle Theobald


Before putting pen to paper,
I lock myself in a room,
whitewashed, windowless,
no distractions.

I suspend the pen from the
ceiling and paw at it like a cat,
fashion the paper into an origami antelope,
then exchange it for parchment and
the pen for a quill, then a pencil before
swapping the parchment for a slate
which blunts the pencil, forcing me to retaliate
with a pen and more paper.

I bite the end off then
dismember and dissect the pen,
compress the spring

beneath my thumb so it       s o a r s       across the room,
roll the paper into a telescope to
ascertain the location of the spring but in doing so
find myself drawn into redecorating the walls which I
repaint red, yellow and blue before
resorting to wallpaper.

I start a society for the prevention of
Pen Abuse only to dissent from
being its sole member
on the basis that alternative writing implements should be
afforded equal rights, and finally I
call the paper company to present a complaint about
the substandard pulping process for which they are
accountable leading to a frivolous fifteen-minute musical interlude
followed by a heated altercation that culminates with
pulp and paper being scrunched and discarded in the
waste bin.

Kyle Theobald

Kyle Theobald

Kyle Theobald is a Creative Writing and English Literature student from Cumbria, grappling with each of life's challenges and then writing about them, or sometimes writing to escape them.
Kyle Theobald

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