Permission, poetry written by Angie Brocker at Spillwords.com
Velizar Ivanov

Permission

Permission

written by: Angie Brocker

@angie_brocker

 

Giving myself permission to experience happiness ticks on and off like a slow motion beating of my heart

Deny
Allow
Deny

Shutting down undeserved bliss, since it will simply be wasted on someone who is incapable of fully feeling the effects is

What
I
Do

Pretending jagged words weren’t spit in my direction, since they are hidden by veils meant to strangle, justifies

Who
I
Am

Creating a monster which doesn’t exist, yet the child inside me believes in this creature until I become

Scared
Of
Myself

Casting out love I could use as a blanket to cover myself in comfort, my subconscious smacks my hand hard releasing feelings

Into
The
Wind

Putting pressure on myself to relax causes hyperventilation, stealing my dignity in short, ugly wisps

But
I’m
Breathing

Hearing people talk behind my back, in the distance, solidifies a distinct innate distrust of any worthwhile qualities I possess…even when their whispers contain

Absolutely
No
Truth

Speaking up qualifies me for labels I wouldn’t wish upon an enemy…saying nothing is considered an admission of guilt, but giving up is, at times, my only way

To
Be
Heard

Deprivation seems to be a suitable punishment for

People
Like
Me

Angie Brocker
Angie Brocker

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