I went for my yearly check up with my gynecologist yesterday and started to broach the subject of having my tubes tied. I’m 35, I have a perfect child and I do not desire any more biological children. Every man I have been with for the last 8 years treats condoms like they are a fucking bear trap for their penis. I am simply unwilling to flood my body with raging hormones simply so they can ride bareback. I’ve had a few partners that were open to vasectomies but somehow or another the appointment never seemed to come to fruition. So, I’ve given this some serious thought. I’d like to take my reproductive future into my own hands. Upon discussing this with my doctor, the first words out of her mouth were “The biggest side effect of a tubal ligation is regret”. She then follows this little cross-stitched message with “What if you find a partner that wants a baby?” I truly wish I could have seen my face. I desperately scanned the room for a calendar to see if somehow, I had suddenly been sucked into 1950 in some kind of misogynistic vortex. So, you’re telling me that even though I have clearly stated that I do not wish to have more children, I should have one if my man wants one? Well, hot damn just put a ring on it and call me an incubator! It’s truly mind boggling to me that I should be expected to rent out my uterus because my partner wants a baby. 9 months of carrying a child, a c-section I’d have to have because I’ve already had one, breast feeding and bleeding nipples, postpartum. Please tell me which one of these things a man would have to experience while I am carrying his baby? These archaic views that are propagated by our society are infuriating and continuously unravel any progress we make as women. It’s 2021 and my doctor thinks I should have a baby to please a man. It’s no wonder that we struggle every day with our worth. We are the world’s surrogate mothers.
Ms. Fish is a writer, an omniologist and a creativity enthusiast. She loves cats, books, coffee, sunshine and art. She writes mostly nonfiction and poetry but occasionally dabbles in other genres. She firmly believes that kindness and creativity can save the world. She also really enjoys talking about herself in the third person because she’s socially awkward. She resides in Wilmington, NC with her son, husband and two cats.