Swedish Meatballs
written by: Kelly Jeanne
After you spend weeks writing another one of your masterpieces, having it critiqued, edited to death, and rereading it to yourself out loud countless times, a feeling of satisfaction washes over you like Holy water. You are glowing with pride and accomplishment.
After a few more weeks of deliberation, you decide that your creation is ready to see the light of day. With trembling forefinger, you hover the cursor over the submit button, and shakily left-click your golden treasure into cyberspace, but not before much fanfare that exists only in your head.
After only a couple of weeks, you get the coveted email.
“Dear Hopeful,
Thank you for your recent submission.
Honestly, we are gobsmacked by your genius. As soon as we read your piece, we contacted The Swedish Academy in Stockholm, Sweden, where we immediately presented your piece for approval as a candidate for the Nobel Prize in Literature.
They told us they had no category for Flash Fiction. All we said in response was, ‘Just read it!’ With much skepticism, they did so.
We’re delighted to inform you that, at this very moment, they are conferencing with the Heads of the Committee regarding making an exception for your much-prized piece.
In the meantime, here is the link that will take you directly to your paragon. We thank you again for choosing Flash Fabulist.”
With much anticipation, you click the link. Once at the site, you see your brainchild surrounded by a golden halo. You read it once again, but this time your eyes lovingly linger over every word, until… you notice a typo shamelessly staring you right in the face.
“How could I have missed that?” you shriek.
Everything comes crashing down around you once you realize everyone will see it!
How can you call yourself a writer? You’ll be the laughingstock of the entire literary community – literally!
Only a week later, after its publication, you are told by the Editors of Flash Fabulist that you were ultimately turned down for the distinguished prize, but as a consolation, the Academy will be sending you a crate of Swedish Meatballs.
When the crate arrives, you unceremoniously feed its contents to your cat.
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