Telling The Truth, For Once, written by Devereaux Frazier at

Telling The Truth, For Once

Telling The Truth, For Once

written by: devereaux frazier



People say
my end game used to be
wanting to not
be bothered
and they’re right
it wasn’t
I just discovered who I was
four years ago
and only half of that
has been spent actually living
I didn’t know, man
I didn’t know who I was
Autism is a journey
I can’t travel in a day
and I thought I could
I was scared
so I shut myself off
I didn’t talk to anyone
not God
not family
I got into a lot of fights
because neither of us
knew who I was
or what I was
I hated myself
for being so conceited
and yet divided
by this pain I felt to be heard
and yet kept secret
but when I discovered writing
I realized I didn’t want to be alone
there was a whole world out there
I had to know
I don’t know as much as I should
and too much for someone my age
but everyday I live
is another incredible page
my end game used to be
not wanting to be bothered
now it’s about balance
being true to myself
but also to my family
I think they don’t know me
and could probably respond better
to who I am
but if I woke up without them
I’m just like everybody else
I’m grateful that they changed for me
nobody else has
maybe I don’t show it
I’m terrible at conveying stuff like that
but I am
I’ve learned that my condition
doesn’t just force people to accommodate
for me
but forces me to be respectful
of them too
it’s why I’ve opened up
in ways I didn’t before
hoping to take back the time
stolen from before
if you’re related to me
a friend
or someone just crossing paths
I’m grateful for what you’ve done
and I hope I can do the same for you
because family is all that matters
and no one deserves
to be left behind

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