Humeirah rubs her bloodshot eyes as she is struggling to wake up from a four-hour sleep by a loud alarm that she briskly shuts. Sluggish and tired; she questions her existence and purpose every day at the same time- the moment she wakes up. Why are mothers so gentle yet so strong? Always searching for a meaning to where I actually belong?
Mother to a 3-year-old boy, Humeirah juggles work, motherhood, and self-love in an irregular fashion. As a child, she looked up to her mother and recognized the sacrifices she had made for Humeirah and siblings and the only thought that lived in her mind was to be anyone except for a woman like her mother. After all, who likes to choose a life that offers no gratitude, self-time, luxury and above all Self-Care?
If mothers were a puzzle, all the pieces would never come together because every relationship that a mother caters to requires a piece. Mothers all around the world are a dependable source of comfort for the family but who is a dependable source of comfort for them?
To her surprise, she has grown up to be everything that her mother was. Making tireless efforts so that the child will eat one more piece of bread, not being able to remedy for the knee pain she has for years because when she completes her duties, the world sleeps. This feeling of emptiness, unselfish love that just grows with passing time. A heart that breaks and bends but still melts when the little one smiles. Head full of doubts and uncertainties that the future might bring. Does she deserve better? How can one begin to answer this question without identifying her existence?
In despair, she cries heavy tears covering her eyes. Perhaps tomorrow’s sunrise may bring a surprise. For all that she knows, her mother was a remarkable miracle who never got the respect and care that she deserved. And now the tables have turned.
Rakshinda has been writing as a blogger for over 7 years. A detached poet, she struggles to create snapshot of the story brewing in her mind. Rakshinda is a mindful observer of the world around her, especially people, relationships and behavioral atmosphere. She truly believes to find the meaning of human existence someday but until then, broken verses and incomplete stories are going to accompany her.