The Crow
written by: Adeyemi Oladele
It was already there when I finally saw it.
It did not appear all of a sudden.
It did not make a show of itself.
The Crow was just sitting
on the edge of things
I had not been paying attention to.
I do not know how long
The Crow had been watching me.
I thought that if I ignored it
it would eventually leave me alone.
The Crow did not leave.
Some days
I felt it more than I saw it,
in moments
I could not explain,
in the way certain thoughts
refused to loosen their grip.
I asked The Crow questions once.
Not out loud.
Just in the quiet of my mind,
when I was too tired
of pretending
I understood my own life.
The Crow did not answer.
It only looked at me
as if I already knew
what I needed to know.
That made me angry.
Because I wanted something—
a sign,
a word,
anything I could hold.
The Crow stayed quiet.
That was worse.
Time passed.
Maybe I stopped running
from the things
that frightened me.
I began to notice
what I do when I am afraid,
how I leave parts of myself behind
just to feel okay
for a while.
The Crow never moved.
It did not need to.
It was not there to help me.
It was not there to warn me.
The Crow was there
to make sure
I saw it.
And I did.
Not all at once.
Not perfectly.
Just enough to understand
that it had never come
to change me.
It only came to wait,
until even my silence
began to face it.
