The Next Nudest Nudist
written by: Gaius Coffey
The next nudest nudist could not condone why the nudest one’s nudism outranked his own. The next nudest nudist’s unblemished skin was natural, organic, and wholesome within where the nudest one’s shoulder was sullied with ink – a tattoo of a ravenous beast wearing mink.
At the next nudist contest, he hatched out a plan not only to win but secure a ban for the nudest one’s subsequent illegal entry with the next nudest’s rules as a nudism sentry. He would challenge the judges to settle the score, to explain why, so wrongly, the inked nude scored more. And if they would not, he resolved to resist and ignore all their calls that he cease and desist.
The day was auspicious, the weather was warm. The nudest one’s shoulder attracted a swarm of onlookers nosily, chattily gawking (in spite of the next nudest’s incessant baulking). Where he was quite naked as nature intended, the nudest one’s shoulder was inked and distended; the beast often squirmed and appeared twice to roar and the skin round it reddened as if really sore.
The look on the next nudest nudist’s poor face when the judges again gave the man second place! It might have turned ugly with explosive force till the nudest one’s sudden, surprising recourse to displaying his blemished, red, inflamed, inked shoulder that now had swollen as big as a boulder.
What looked like a snarling and ravenous beast was really a birthmark on top of a cyst. “It inflates with anger and subsides with calm,” said the nudest one softly with decorous charm, “it is, if you will, a mood man’s alarm.”
The next nudest nudist could see his mistake when the beast on the cyst began then to quake. “I’m sorry,” he said, “I had misunderstood how the truth of your beast is so nakedly good. Your nudism must be deemed second to none, and I, in my shame, shall henceforth be gone. I withdraw my complaint, let your victory ride.” And, with that, the beast began to subside.
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