written by: Chloe Gilholy
An overload of information, in one ear and out the other
scattered all over the place like flakes of dust.
The dead flies decaying on the ground…
are the happy thoughts forgotten.
Anxious to ask the questions,
I can’t shake the fear of scalding,
In case they think I’m stupid…
I can’t seem to do anything right.
All I ever hear is moaning.
Is it worth the risk?
All around me are red flags,
Constant oppression and little demons
They call me ugly in the mirror!
Taunt me in photographs!
Critique everything I do!
What is there to look forward to?
Nobody wants to listen.
They would never understand.
I just feel so empty all the time.
Though little things the emptiness is refilled,
there’s a gaping hole in my smile.
the emptiness returns quickly all the knowledge I have is imprisoned.
I know it’s going to get worse as the years go on
I want it all, but I can’t have it all.
Scribbles upon wet pages…
Suffer to live.
I want to live, but I must die.
I want to die, but I must live.