Waiting for Eons
written by: Bilquis Fatima
I didn’t realize when sunny times
turned turbulent uprooting my faith in love,
which, still blooming was ruthlessly crushed.
One fine winter morning you asked for my hand
and I gave it to you with a smile,
pleased to be crowned your wife
presuming it to be the most fortunate event of my life.
The henna of my hand had still not faded when,
in a blink my rosy dreams got murky
and your behavior took a turn of one eighty.
The bloated promises of traveling through life
holding hands, sauntering green paths
spending evenings together in the moonlight, deflated flat
when you denied and smirked,
turning my dreams into nightmares,
leaving me aghast
when few strands of hair waved out of my scarf and
words like shrapnel were hurled upon me
puzzling me as to when a liberal mind turned a strict follower of such doctrines.
Initial years were riven by your blind domination as
your tongue and scowls scraped my skin while I
tried to figure out which step of mine had crossed your line,
my sanity being ripped off by your constant snapping.
I was just nineteen and your own choice
then why did you raise your voice?
My hands had just kept down dolls and storybooks
when you started trampling my little delights
like the time when I made a doll for our new house
which you smashed and threw in the trash
telling dolls were idols not meant for a house,
and flung away my storybooks,
the pages flying around in the courtyard’s nook,
etching deep lines of pain in my heart.
I licked the bruises you inflicted on my soul
thinking time would lighten up your dark mind
instead you sowed seeds of doubt, making me feel worthless,
but I stayed like a rock, not seeking your validation
believing the raging storm would calm down in meditation.
Building fences around me with your controlling nature
you isolated me from my friends and family,
the pain of which I quietly gulped thinking you wanted me to yourself,
but you left me alone to dampen my pillow with scuffled cries
while you gladly joined your friends and family for lunch and dinner
abandoning me like an outcaste sinner.
Leaning on the arms of patience for forty years,
breathing under the same roof with you,
I held on to the thread of hope
waiting for your eyes to smile,
but in vain, for your ego and arrogance every time handed you a reason
to put off my flame with a gust of piercing words.
Gradually the encounters lessened for you decided to
plant weeds of indifference between us,
Inevitably your silence pushing me into a painful conundrum.
On one fateful day I peeked
at your mobile chat strewn with roses and hearts,
finally stumbling over the reason of your insanity.
Thanking God for unveiling the mask of hypocrisy.
That was the day I stepped out of your domain
and walked towards the verdant hills luring me
leaving you to feed your demons of narcissism
while I waited for the Venus to shine on my palm.
- Waiting for Eons - September 30, 2026
- War Gods - June 18, 2026
- Wishes - January 16, 2026
