Diminishing Light

Diminishing Light

written by: Alex Reiner

 

You’ve lost. Emptiness was left behind. Like a seashell at the beach. Left behind, broken, alone and hollow. You wonder whether the emptiness will fade like the voice of a lost friend. But it doesn’t feel like it fades or becomes less hollow. It grows and grows and slowly eats on you until nothing is left. You’ve lost it. You’ve lost yourself in the emptiness. Like a dark cloud of smoke, it grew in you, and with each blow, the cloud got darker and grew bigger. The cloud, so black it consumes all light that comes in its way. The cloud so heavy it crushes everything that comes in its way. The cloud so dark and all-consuming like a black hole. The cloud that eats you from the inside out. It lies heavy on you. It pushes you down to your knees. The cold tiles beneath your skin. It has to come out. Out! Your chest, so heavy, filled with the darkness of the cloud. Leaving you with a hollowness while filling you up. Cold tiles beneath your skin. Cool to your face. No breath can escape from the hollow shell. There’s no warm sand beneath the shell, just cold tiles. Just one breath. Just one. The toxic fumes of the cloud spread like wildfire through you. Burn you. Sting you. Just one breath. Far away, there is a weak beam of light. Not warm and welcoming like the hug of a lover. Cold and unfamiliar like the tiles beneath your skin. And still, you reach towards the beam, hoping for one breath. Just one breath. You reach out to get out of the cloud, get out of the all-consuming fumes that eat away at you. Get out of the darkness and fill some of the hollowness. So close. You can feel how the emptiness is getting a fraction smaller. You reach out and hope. But then another blow of toxic fumes envelops you. More aggressive. More determined. The dark cloud consumes you again. And again. And again. With every time, you lose more and more of yourself. Will it always be like that? Should you simply accept it? Embrace the darkness instead of fighting it. You are already too far gone. You will never be the person you could’ve been without the darkness swallowing you up. You can’t change anything anymore. Embrace the dark cloud that lives within you. You’ll feel in control again. You’ll become a new version of yourself. Embrace the dark cloud. Inhale the toxic fumes. Embrace the emptiness. Fill the hollowness with darkness. Accept that you’ve lost. Stop fighting and give in. It would be so much easier. You have nothing left to give, so why not take what you already have? Take the dark cloud with you and stop fighting against it. You’ve already lost. Be consumed and be free. Breath! Somewhere far away, someone screams. Breath! You know the voice. So familiar. Yet so strange. The cool, silver metal releases a hot, red liquid. Cool tiles. Cool metal. Hot liquid. A red line comes down to the tiles. Contrasting the darkness within with the redness outside. Breath! A shaky breath. The pressure inside you, the dark cloud fades away. As more air pushes the toxic fumes away, it fills the shell with a spark of life. There’s still a red threat coming down from the shell to the tiles. Soft, white fabric collects the red thread from the tiles. No longer white. Stained. More fabric. Less red. The circle of the diminishing light has started again.