Betrayers of the Past
written by: Parvathy Sukumar
@Parvathyfeb27
I have always loved the sunset. As the sun sinks deep into the horizon, the sky gets awash with hues of orange and pink. The waves crashing against the rocks and the cool breeze make the scene ethereal. As the cool wind played with my hair, I sighed. ‘How did I end up here?’ I wondered.
This was never my safe haven. This was not where I had always wanted to be. But then, maybe, this was my fate. As I gaze at the setting sun, I can sense the heaviness in my heart, as if I am longing for something.
‘What are you thinking about?’
I know the owner of the voice. He was the first person I saw, the day I woke up in the hospital, a few weeks ago. As I try to read his face, I cannot help but remember the day when the doctors told me about the horrific accident I had. In their words, ‘I am a miracle, a death defier.’
‘Do you remember anything? Anything at all?’ He asked me.
I shook my head. He masked his disappointment with a faint smile. I remember the day when the doctors informed him about my memory loss. I still remember the emotions flashed on his face. I tried to console him with a subtle smile.
I knew he had a lot to talk to me about. However, I didn’t have anything to tell him. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Nurse Rita approaching us. He knows what that means. The visitation hours are over. He gave her a nod and left the seat, but not before promising to talk to me tomorrow. I looked at his retreating figure and sighed.
‘Was it a difficult day for you again?’ Rita enquired.
She has been my nurse from the day I woke up in this hospital. She has seen me sitting absolutely clueless with no memories of the past. She had also seen me bawling my eyes out when the scattered memories tormented me.
‘It was. He has been making it difficult for me. At least I am happy that he came alone today.’ I sighed.
The day I woke up, he had come with a 12-year-old girl. He said she was my daughter. But, she did not look happy to see me. She looked as if she wanted to be anywhere but here, in the hospital. But as the days went by, I saw her changing demeanour. She tried hard to help me recollect the past.
‘Don’t you miss her? She is your daughter after all.’ Rita asked.
I chuckled. She waited for my answer, but unfortunately, I didn’t have any.
‘How long are you going to continue this?’ She asked me impatiently.
I am not surprised by her reaction. After all, she is also a woman, a wife, a mother — just like me. But she doesn’t know my story. She doesn’t know the path that brought me to this safe haven. She doesn’t know that the people who she thinks are my family are not mine anymore.
Rita didn’t try to get answers from me anymore. Maybe, she understood that I had done talking for the day. As we walked towards my room, I couldn’t help but think about the day of my accident. The day, that led me to this safe haven. The day, when I felt betrayed by my people.
Rita is right. I cannot keep this pretence for long. I will have to return to them. No matter how hard they try to tear me apart, I will have to continue playing the role of a wife and a mother. But for now, this is my time off. This is the only time I can afford to live as a free woman, without any other tags. I choose not to take note of the dos and don’ts prescribed by society for now. I wish to breathe in the fragrance of freedom before returning to the betrayers of my past.
- Betrayers of the Past - January 30, 2025
- The Haunting Silence - March 1, 2024
- A Bittersweet Dream - May 31, 2023