I Am Santa Claus
written by: Gypsie-Ami Offenbacher-Ferris
It is the night before Christmas, I lay quiet in my bed. Downstairs I hear the rustling of paper.
Soft mutterings layered with quickly hushed laughter, trickle through my bedroom door.
I pray the parents go to bed soon, terrified they might scare Santa away.
It was between midnight and sunrise, that he slipped through the door, leaving bright colored packages strewn around our blinking Christmas tree.
Once again and for many more Christmas mornings, I wondered who was Santa Claus?
Teenage awareness stole the magic of Christmas away, just as those years of angst do for most who get through them.
Anger at my parents for not being who I thought they should be, or who I thought they were.
Anger at the world and most of all, anger at me.
Adulthood brought jobs, dating, marriage, and children. It is the night before Christmas now, the children lay pretending to sleep in their beds.
Downstairs, I reminisce quietly with husband, of past Christmases, lost parents and friends, hopes and dreams for the future for our kids and for us.
He taps me on the nose and tells me to finish up and meet him upstairs for my special Christmas present.
Quickly, I place the gifts, wrapped in colorful profusions of gaudily gilded paper, beneath the six-foot wonderful-smelling Christmas tree.
The scent of pine, wood, and living things wafts past my nose, enticing me back to my childhood.
As I turn to head up the stairs, I’m struck frozen for a moment, I finally know who the bearer of Christmas Day presents was.
It’s me, I am Santa Claus, the realization makes me happy.
The little girl inside me and the woman walking up the stairs, gaze at each other, and smile.
- I Am Santa Claus - December 24, 2024
- The Old House - January 9, 2024
- Phases (In a Woman’s Life) - August 28, 2023
