I’d Rather Have You
written by: Arianna Creates
Dean sees a stripped cedar tree and chops it down, thinks:
You were that tree, strong and ancient, felled in one stroke; felt so strongly in me was the love of that strike
Nature’s greed knows no bounds. I am a monstrous thing
Caressed, were you, by constant storms— roots greedily drinking the cold rain
Sharing in that biting pain, the Lord won’t forgive me my trespasses
In my naivety, I happily bent your limbs into a cruel, gnarled shape
Ensnared in this trap, you were struck; there was nothing left to stop the forewarned tragedy
Your final words, I found, carved into me
Chest pried open, heart in hand, ribs cracked in half, begging for an audience to witness– your sacrifice, my obscenity
Written, there are claims that loving isn’t in the having, but the knowing—
that you’d die for me in secrecy is the reason for this darkness. Your absence leaves the woods empty
Living in privation is purgatory; take my penance, and help me repent
They told us that love is patience, that it is kind
But patience greets another congregation. Kindness is a dream encounter.
Heard so suddenly was the silence that followed the end of your internal clocks’ incessant ticking
I did not want your suffering, your loudness, your ache
I yearn for it now
Time was wasted, spent living in my bent shape. I picture you now, and I ache
my storm struck you, and the darkness has grown around us both
I took your life from me when your wants gave their first and final breath
I miss you before I even get to kiss you
I’ll die for you in secrecy
- I’d Rather Have You - February 23, 2026
