Bouleversant
Shopping
written by: Gerry Stefanson
unfortunately we did not possess
“survivors of suicide” handbook,
think Beetlejuice the movie
independent of each other and with our daughter
Lynn and I now found shopping a different experience
after the loss of Kyle, many things changed
bumping into folks could be award, uncomfortable, rewarding
this whole range of known and unknown experiences divested
routine duties became adventures, many overwhelming
shopping in different venues out of our community, the new practical
shopping at different times, say 10:00 PM (who sleeps now any how)
my first panic attack took place in a supermarket two communities away
my local butcher, friend of a decade found me frozen staring at a water display
in big box store, he abandoned his cart then with his son wrangled me home
my G.P. hooked me up/pilled me up, no judgment – kindness
we realized folk who didn’t really know us, would whisper and stare
others approached us as long-lost relatives, advised time heals all
we knew, they were unknowing liars, but no judgment – kindness
we grew, we got by, most things old became new adventures
many things new became old fast, everything got less awkward
we became stronger, resilient, longing, no judgment – kindness
change became most everything, time froze/defrosted/froze
still does even now/before losing Kyle/after the loss
we three moved ahead/slid back/new paths – with old trails
we are the fortunate ones – we three survive.
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR:
The little things sometimes hit the hardest. In the mundane chores, hope can become slippery. The overall effect, I feel, you either adapt or not.
- Shopping - March 11, 2026
- Lone Runner - January 14, 2026
- Bouleversant - November 13, 2025
