Undertow
written by: Daniel Deschenes
I woke up adrift again, at the sea’s mercy
I know what I said about that
About going back into the waves
But the water looked calmer tonight
I thought that this time would be different
I felt that I was stronger than before
I can keep my head above water now
I swear that I can
It won’t be like that time in December
When the icy water came up to meet me
I did not have the will to fight it
Or maybe I did, and I simply didn’t care
I fell headlong into the ice and salt
Sinking lower and lower like a stone
Letting the blackness swallow me whole
Letting it push me to oblivion
I was not planning on coming back
I had made peace with my fate
Until I was unexpectedly pulled to shore
Lungs full of water and apologies
And then, blinded by pride and self-will run riot
I wade back into the foam and spray
Before my clothes had even dried
Dragging my feet across the reef again
Maybe I am constitutionally incapable
of the rigorous honesty that life demands
I am the rare failure, the unfortunate
Entirely at fault, as the waves take me
Because I would instead bite my tongue
Before I bite the proverbial bullet
Before I admit that I wasn’t strong enough
Before I admit the water was too deep
So again, I find myself adrift
All alone as the sharks begin to circle
I know what I said about going back in
But the water looked calmer tonight
- Undertow - June 26, 2025
- Winter’s Weight - June 17, 2023
- Thread Count - March 24, 2023
