What Happened?
written by: Rukaiya Nana Musa
Still standing where you left me.
Still leaning on the stray of hope I have left, the stray of hope that makes me think that you’ll sit and reminisce on the special moments we had.
But I’m forced to remind myself that hope is not all I need right now… I need strength.
I wonder if you remember the times we laid down on the cool grass of your beautiful garden and star gazed. We looked for the brightest stars and you helped me build an imaginary future for us.
What Suddenly happened?
I’ve heard that people become poets and philosophers when they are heartbroken, right now, I don’t think there’s a better way to believe it, because that’s the only way to express what you’ve done to me.
What Happened to the promises you made?
The vow of making our future as bright as the stars?
The happy times, the beautiful words you sang to me, what happened to them?
I can’t help but acknowledge the fact that everything was a lie. I guess you saw how gullible and fickle-minded I was.
You controlled me, dominated my thoughts, invaded my quiet life, and made me go against my tenets. …What a wondrous feeling I felt all through.
You bounded me and made me feel like nothing else mattered, you made me drown in your pool of ecstasy and I unconsciously reached for something I thought I had.
Only I know how heart wrenching it feels when I remember how we made time come to a stand still and got lost drinking the intoxicating look in each other’s eyes.
What happened?
I cringe and shed invisible tears every time I try to conceive the truth…it was all fake, wasn’t it? If it wasn’t, what happened?
Did the charm and beauty you said I possessed wither so fast? Did the flutters in your heart cease?
What happened to the promise of never letting go?
Why did you stay even when you didn’t feel the same?
I can’t thank you enough for making me feel loved and creating special and beautiful moments with me, though short lived, it was worthwhile… You set on a journey to self discovery and opened up feelings I never fathomed I inhibited.
I’m not angry, I’m sad because I thought it would last longer. I wish you’ll find someone who will forever possess that special place in your heart and I hope to find mine too.
If it’s really what you want, I’m ready to let go, but I still can’t bury the thought of how the void was created. I’m letting go because that’s what you want but I can’t let go of this thought; What Happened?
- What Happened? - November 13, 2021
