some things don’t drown
written by: Tony Ortiz
When we first met
I looked at you as if you were the sun,
The moon,
And every star and planet
That ever did exist
Or ever will.
You looked at me
Like a kitten
Would look at a toy mouse,
Or maybe
How a wingless bird
Would look at the sky.
Now, you only look at me that way
Once your mind
Has fogged up
From the invitingly warm
Unmoving smoke
Leaping off of the blunt we share.
You only embrace me
When the dark water
Invades my mind
Making my words sweeter than honey,
My brain, dimmer than the night sky,
And my heart
Desperate for any sign
You’re still there.
And After
I have no choice but to listen
And nod
As you explain to my child-like mind
Why I can’t sleep
Next to you,
Or even at your place,
And how
“Next time”
You’ll be fine with it.
I’m too drunk to protest.
Or to walk.
Or to tell you
How much I love you,
Or how depressed I am,
Or how sometimes,
I wish death would sneak me away,
Or how afraid I am to lose you.
I simply nod,
And agree that,
“Next time we can cuddle
And sleep”
And that the bad thoughts won’t creep
Because you’re there.
But next time won’t ever come,
Will it?
Written under aliases 'Absent Minded' and 'MNDFL'
