The phantom smiled a toothy grin, “I want to give you this gift. Go home and write down all these memories… and when you wake up, they will be no more. Read the journals for yourself. You will see. You will be the most powerful man in the world.”
“Right,” Stanley nodded his head. “Right.”
The man stood up and looked at him, “You will see me again. Remember this day, Stanley. All the answers to prayer and bitterness will be answered. And you’ll see for yourself how much good you can do.”
“Any good that could be done hasn’t been done. It’s far too late. All my prayers have been for nothing, and I’m fine with it. I’ll bring it up with God, if he exists, when I see him.”
“You will have all the power in the world, Professor Redlaw. People will no longer have to pick up their crosses in this life. Think of the pain you could take from others if you had the gift. Think of all the problems you could solve. You write so much about how things are going wrong. What if they were going right?”
“Then I’d have no career,” Stanley smirked.
“Come on, man! This gift will change your life! An answer to your prayers.”
Stanley’s heart skipped a beat, “Well… if it helps you leave me alone, I accept your gift. Now, please leave me be. Life is hard enough as it is without folks like you harassing me.”
“Message received,” the phantom smiled.
“Don’t call me again,” Stanley tried to revert himself back to what he knew before meeting the man. “The police are involved. If I see you again, I may knock your lights out. You hear?”
The phantom grinned, “You’ll see me again, Professor.”
***
Stanley came home to Milly and William cooking him dinner. Stanley forced a smile and sat down at the table.
“Did you meet that guy?” Milly asked.
“Yeah,” said Stanley.
“Did he have what you were looking for?” Milly smiled as she poured him coffee.
“I’m not sure,” Stanley motioned that the cup was full enough for him.
Milly sat across from him and hummed Christmas music softly.
“You’re a cheery person,” Stanley stroked his beard.
“There’s a lot to be thankful for this year.”
“There is?”
“I happen to believe that, yes.”
“I’m not in the same boat.”
“I’m aware, Professor Redlaw,” Milly nodded. “I’m aware.”
Stanley looked at his wedding band and then at Milly: “If you were to have the power to heal people of their most painful memories, what would you do with it?”
Milly chuckled, “What kind of question is that?”
“Just something I’m throwing out there. Thought experiment, if you will.”
“I’m not sure if it would be helpful… I can’t articulate why. I don’t think erasing people’s memories is the way to go.”
“What is the right way then?”
“I’m not sure… hope? Love? All that jazz?”
“Some good that’s gotten us,” Stanley laughed. “Some good.”
“You asked and I answered,” Milly smirked. “That’s all you need to know.”
William walked in the front door with groceries and started putting them away.
“Professor Redlaw, we cannot thank you enough for hosting us,” William said. “We can’t believe how blessed we were to find someone with an open home.”
“It’s no bother,” Stanley replied. “I had nothing better going on.”
Milly got up to help William put away groceries.
“Professor Redlaw asked an interesting question, William,” Milly put the milk in the fridge. “If you had the power to erase people’s painful memories, what would you do with it?”
“I’d visit the hospitals so people could have a pleasant death,” said William. “I remember the way my grandpa went on and on about his sins. I think I would erase those from his head before he passed on.”
“That’s a good answer,” Stanley nodded.
Milly shrugged, “I guess it is. Better use of it than nothing. A good thought experiment though.”
“I think I would erase memories of my pet dog dying,” William continued. “Absolutely heartbreaking stuff.”
“That’s sweet,” Milly smiled. “How about you, Professor? What memories would you erase?”
“I’m not sure,” Stanley replied. “It feels like too good of an idea to entertain… to be pain-free, to give people the gift to no longer recoil in trauma to basic kindness and mercy? What an idea.”
“Yeah, I guess. I think I would choose the power to feed everyone or something like that. Solve poverty.”
“I would choose to be invisible,” William smirked.
“And how does that do the world good?”
“It doesn’t. It helps me hide at parties better.”
They both broke out into laughter.
Stanley rolled his eyes, finished his coffee, and walked to his study.
***
Later that night, after supper, Stanley shook his head as he finished writing down his painful memories.
“This is insane,” he mumbled. “You’re entertaining someone who is mentally unwell.”
But what if it was true?
What if he could erase the world’s worst memories?
He looked at the clock and decided it was time to get ready for bed.
December 24
Stanley woke up with his body feeling lighter. He recalled the conversation with the phantom in the coffee shop – about the painful memories. Stanley closed his eyes and tried to recall anything.
Not much came to mind.
Stanley walked over to his desk and read his journals. He flipped them over and saw details about his divorce with Ashley, the death of his sister, many of his woes and angers towards the world. He felt nothing.
His shoulders were finally relaxed. He could breathe. In the mirror, he looked at the sunlight’s reflection. He listened intently to the stillness, perhaps for the first time ever.
His mind wasn’t throbbing with the memories of Ashley’s betrayal or Charlene’s death. He felt… released, free. The phantom was onto something. Stanley didn’t want to believe it, but it seemed to be true.
Stanley was lighter than a feather, and felt like he lost fifty pounds.
“Thank you,” he said out loud, hoping the phantom heard it.
He smiled and started getting dressed for the day.
The only way to test this out, Stanley figured, was to visit his sister’s final resting place. If he couldn’t feel anything there, he knew that the gift had worked.
***
Charlene’s grave stood still as Stanley stared at it. The snow fell gently.
Stanley tried his best to recall what happened to his sister, but nothing came to mind. In fact, the longer he stared at the gravestone, the more he wondered if she actually was his sister.
“What did she die of?” asked a boy’s voice behind him.
Stanley turned around and saw a boy dressed in rags, worn-out shoes. He stared stoically for a few seconds.
“What did she die of, mister?” the boy asked again.
“Apparently a car crash,” Stanley said almost monotone. “Who are you?”
“I come from the mirror realm.”
“Ah.”
“What do you mean ‘ah’?”
“You look like the old man that visited me too. Roughed up. Like you came from he…”
The boy looked at him blankly and then looked at the gravestone again, “She must’ve been really loved with all the flowers there.”
Stanley forced a smile, “Yes… she must’ve.”
“Do you understand the gift so far?”
“I think so.”
“What are you going to do with it?”
“I’m not sure.”
***
Stanley and the boy sat at his kitchen table. He looked ahead in silence, occasionally flashing a smile to him. The boy looked to the floor.
“What is death like?” Stanley asked.
“I’m not sure, sir,” said the boy. “When you’re on the other side, how you died really doesn’t matter. It’s like falling asleep in one place and waking up in another.”
“So why are you here?”
“I’m here to accompany you, sir.”
“What’s the last memory you have?”
Milly walked into the kitchen and saw the boy, “You told me no family was stopping by!”
Stanley raised an eyebrow, “You can see him?”
“Of course I can see him!” Milly pinched his cheek. “Why wouldn’t I?”
The boy smiled faintly and looked away from her.
“Will he be staying with us then?” Milly asked.
“Maybe?” Stanley replied.
The boy looked off distantly.
***
The boy and Stanley walked side by side down the street.
“Why can Milly see you?” Stanley asked.
“She’s got a good heart,” the boy replied. “Some people just… see.”
Stanley nodded, “I understand. Do many people see you?”
“No, sir. Only a special few.”
“I’m flattered.”
“Thank you, sir.”
Stanley smiled again and leaned back.
“What are you feeling?” the boy asked.
“I’m feeling lighter, but also like something is missing. I can’t put words to it.”
“Aye,” said the boy.
“I’m feeling a cup of coffee at Tetterby’s. How about you?”
“Sounds good, sir.”
***
Stanley and the boy sat across from each other. Nobody paid much attention to them. Stanley kept eyeing Marcus and Sophia. Their joy and happiness were contagious.
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- A Chicago Carol - December 24, 2024
