A Contented Child in Their Mother’s Arms – and Healing
written by: KCEM
@kounselling
It is well known that when we start healing we regress to our childhood. Most of us know this, everyone who tried to heal, got a counsellor, and had a few sessions would have been told this…, I imagine. We regress to being a child once more to heal. Trauma typically makes us tense, defended, over-vigilant and frozen. We live in harshness about existing among our colleagues… family…, lover and any subsection of these… depending on our particular experience of trauma…
We regress to progress not act out
Once regressed we may (naturally) want to act as an outraged adult about what has happened to us. Who could blame us..? Really. If we saw a child going through that right now would we not feel mighty outraged about what we are witnessing..? While each of these myriad of feelings are never to be ignored, but acknowledged as best we can, acting out isn’t going to give us any progress in regards to our healing…, but it is natural to feel this way… only so we can better and better learn who we are and thus progress towards our healing…
We heal in the present – living our daily lives in the present while recounting the past
We may wish to keep fighting the past or present perceived abusers who mirror our regressed experiences in some form or other. For the present is ready to show us how we are feeling, what our inner experiences, those stored in and now ready to be addressed if we are ready to be in the present to address and heal the past.
This is all part of the well-needed, helpful process. And every feeling and notion that comes up is valid and valued – ought to be valued, acknowledged and given their proper space to speak their expressions… (to us in our journal, with counsellor and then, when the particular issue is more matured also spoken outwardly towards appropriate audiences (family, friends, colleagues…))
Contented child in mother’s arms…, regardless of how long it takes…
Regardless of how long this takes us, no judgment, whatsoever… Always be kind to yourself, this is the place we want to reach over and over in our healing of trauma, each aspect, layer, and level of it…. In these, where we can experience this, an inner experience of being ourselves a contented child self in self-mother’s arms, we have reached full healing, as that aspect, level, and layer of our trauma is concerned. This bit of our trauma is no more.
Working on our healing, to reach deeper, and fuller healing of our trauma, asking, can we be the child in the loving arms of our mother, (where the inner child self and the mother are ourselves)… This I feel would be the measure by which we can have an idea as to where we are in our healing in regards to any of the sections, types, levels… of the trauma we are trying to heal.
How do we get there… to this point of healing where the trauma is no more…?
To reach the regressed state of the contented child in the mother’s arms, or the father’s arms is the challenge to overcome.
Gently, kindly to self, taking all the time, if we feel the urge to criticise or blame ourselves, choose to hold ourselves lovingly as a good caring parent would… on seeing us do this to ourselves. Until we feel secure enough to relax more and more into the loving arms of ‘a good parent.’
By believing that it is possible and that we are safe, if we can allow ourselves to be more vulnerable… and by choosing – at our own pace – to keep going… until we can allow ourselves to be as vulnerable, even fragile as we had been then… to get to the loving soft embrace… of the contented inner child…
- A Contented Child in Their Mother’s Arms – and Healing - August 6, 2024
- Pain is Only an Experience - March 27, 2024
- Orchid Dream - August 15, 2023
