Carved Into Me
written by: Gina Carrillo
Scars remain
carve dark art on my heart
trace the edges of my being
with Crimson paint
these are not stains
but murals that have remained
Let me tell you about my pain
I once wanted to run
now I’ll perform this
like a machine gun
No longer just a quiet one
this life isn’t yet done
I’m just getting started
though my love long departed
sometimes I think
I’d rather deal with the devil I know
than the one that’s a stranger to me
If I took a chance
Could it end up being worse
trying to break this curse
too much pain and shame surround
triggers attacking shaking the ground
is it them and not me
I’ve abandoned myself far too long
only appeasing people pleasing
cannot get too settled or comfortable
the rug may be ripped out from underneath me
such an inconvenience it can be
What can you do for me
Empaths have the ability to feel everything
shall I reside deep in my cave
where there are lower tides
Or should I take the chance
possibly drown in another sweet romance
before I didn’t have a choice
Now I found my inner voice
do I need to say it louder
or can you hear me in the back
I was stabbed so many times
they always came to attack
I got used to the feeling of it
like the pain
even sought it out for pleasure
relapsing endeavor
my body looks like a hieroglyphic wall
Just by glancing
you can’t see it all
scars remain
totem poles tell a story
I’ll go out with a flame of glory
with fire in my eyes
I’m the golden prize
queen of death
Fill my breath as it chills
bringing goosebumps
poetic enchanting thrills
written by myself
Feeling these words
through my bones
the pain it will last
etchings in my skin
the past deeply cut within
it remains deeply
carved into me
- Carved Into Me - November 16, 2024
- Into 2023 - January 21, 2023
- RIP - September 17, 2022
