freight trains
written by: Alyssa Brocker
@Atelgy
what we had at first was
innocent
adorable
pure
it was
friendship
it was
love
it was
Everything
we made each other friendship bracelets out of rubber bands,
we skipped algebra to sit by that lake with the
“watch for alligators” sign.
i watched your
eyes,
lips,
mood,
your whole being rise
and
shine when you were with
me
i also watched them
f a l l
when your
controlling, masochistic,
boyfriend
would send you fear-inducing texts
that would have you running back home,
back to him
back to the lies
away from
me
don’t you remember being happy?
don’t you remember us?
don’t you remember that time at the beach,
or in your truck bed,
your old jackets as blankets,
playing the how-close-can-we-get-without touching game?
you don’t remember?
god, emma,
i didn’t experience these things alone.
i
remember
everything
i remember
braiding your multi-colored hair
over and over again,
as an excuse to touch you
i remember
your purple lipstick,
how it got all over my white t-shirt,
and how I didn’t care at all
i remember
watching you light your cigarette,
being so mesmerized by you,
that I couldn’t speak from watching you do a simple
action
i remember
the first,
last,
time in my bathtub,
slipping on the porcelain,
grasping for each other,
experimenting,
feeling,
taking,
giving,
each other damn well
everything
you know what i can’t forget,
though?
your beautifully damaged face
when you decided you didn’t like
g i r l s
anymore
- Reason To Be Sad - June 10, 2020
- (ir)(rational) - March 16, 2019
- Without Him - January 30, 2018
