I Am In Itself Poetry In The Dark by Michelle Ayon Navajas at Spillwords.com
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I Am In Itself Poetry In The Dark

I Am In Itself Poetry In The Dark

written by: Michelle Ayon Navajas



i breathe life into my words
feelings i so hardly tell in an everyday discourse
so let me bring to life my words as a young lady
whose scream was not heard
whose cry was muted
whose voice was silenced.

my heart was heavy as the Titan Atlas
condemned to hold up heavens for eternity
pinned down the ground
by a man twice my size
i was only eighteen
it didn’t last long enough
probably 20 minutes
doubled it up with me fighting
for my sanity
it felt like forever.

like the fire of hell, his eyes could burn down the entire room
with one hand holding up a real fire with a lighted cigarette
i held back panicked breaths
like a little child locked up in the dark
while seeing a sinister smile entirely
venom spit all over her body.

“you’re so pretty.”
“you’re so pretty.”
“you are mine.”
“you are mine.”

words that should have been heartwarming
melodies turned out to be a devil’s chant
the limbs of my body exposed fears
giving away whispering breaths of agony
hidden in my eyes are pleading looks of terror
with the drop of his pants comes the collapse of my world
the collapse of my future
the collapse of my dreams.

two bodies
two lungs
united as one
what was supposed to be an act of love turned out to be a devil’s deed
my face that looked so charming an hour ago is now a picture of horror
my heart which was so pure and innocent is now filled with madness and despise
my soul, so full of faith, is now completely lost.

i trembled at the sound of my frozen voice
i loathed the silence of my desperate breaths
i hated the sight of myself not strong enough to fight back
slowly the devil has risen from his deep demonic trance
offered me comforting words
but no, no amount of words could comfort me
no amount of begging for forgiveness could bring back the life he took
the future he robbed.

years after, i have become every poet’s muse
with all those little secrets hidden
and kept for so long
i am, in itself, poetry in the dark.

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