I Was Just a Girl

I Was Just a Girl

written by: Tracy Lord

 

For My Mum who lost her fight to cancer — 15 July 1986
From your daughter, who still misses your light

 

I was just a girl of fourteen,
When you slipped beyond my view,
Too young to grasp the weight of loss,
Too old to stay brand new.

You couldn’t speak, the drugs had dulled
The voice I knew so well,
But still you waited, quietly
As if your heart could tell.

I was the last to reach your side,
The only one that day,
And when I walked into that room,
You chose to slip away.

No final words were said aloud,
But something deeper passed
A silent bond, a sacred thread,
A moment built to last.

And oh, how I have missed you, Mum,
Through years both dark and wide,
The kind of pain a girl still feels
When no one’s on her side.

Your wisdom might have steered my path,
Your laugh could lift my soul,
Instead I walked some roads alone,
Still trying to feel whole.

These past five years have tested me,
I’ve bent, I’ve burned, I’ve cried
And longed to hear you tell me,
“Stand back up with pride.”

But though you left in silence,
Your love still softly stays
In stubborn hope, in fierce belief,
In quiet, inner blaze.

So on this date — your final day
I honour all you gave,
Not just in life, but in that act:
You waited. You were brave.

You gave me all the love you could,
Then let yourself be free…
But not before you saw me there
And gave your last breath to me.