Loving a Heart Full of Holes
written by: Janetta Marilyn Konah
“I don’t know when love became elusive. What I know, is that no one I know has it”
– Warsan Shire
i’m sure the universe will punish me
for not loving myself enough.
and love for me might still be as elusive as catching air.
last night, i loved you in my dreams, like i did when we first met,
like i did after you broke my heart.
i have lost count of how many times
i have been heartbroken
how many times my heart has bled
while my mouth was full of flowers and forever
and how many time have i dug a pit six feet deep with frail nails
in an attempt to bury a love that won’t die.
at dawn, i woke up with dews in the corner of my eyes
if these dews were diamonds, will i be enough for you?
will loving me be easy as breathing?
will you stay? or will you leave like my father did?
his footsteps are still retreating in the walls of my mind
those walls too, have learned how to mourn you.
everything i know about waking up with dews on my eyelids
i learnt from my mother
everything i know about departure, i learnt from my father
and everything i know about loving a heart full of holes
i learnt from you
but maybe i have not learned enough.
- Your Soul is a River - August 7, 2024
- It’s Okay to Not Be Okay - May 2, 2024
- Loving a Heart Full of Holes - May 25, 2020
