“I don’t know when love became elusive. What I know, is that no one I know has it”
– Warsan Shire
i’m sure the universe will punish me
for not loving myself enough.
and love for me might still be as elusive as catching air.
last night, i loved you in my dreams, like i did when we first met,
like i did after you broke my heart.
i have lost count of how many times
i have been heartbroken
how many times my heart has bled
while my mouth was full of flowers and forever
and how many time have i dug a pit six feet deep with frail nails
in an attempt to bury a love that won’t die.
at dawn, i woke up with dews in the corner of my eyes
if these dews were diamonds, will i be enough for you?
will loving me be easy as breathing?
will you stay? or will you leave like my father did?
his footsteps are still retreating in the walls of my mind
those walls too, have learned how to mourn you.
everything i know about waking up with dews on my eyelids
i learnt from my mother
everything i know about departure, i learnt from my father
and everything i know about loving a heart full of holes
i learnt from you
but maybe i have not learned enough.
Janetta Marilyn Konah is a Liberian Poet and Author of "Beautiful Pieces" a poetry chapbook published on Amazon. She writes about life, nature, love, self-identity, and feminism. Her writings have appeared in KWEE Liberian Literary Magazine where she was selected Author of the Month of January 2020. She hones her creative craft through two literary organization, Monrovia READS and We Write Liberia, both of which she is a member of. Miss Konah lives in Monrovia, Liberia where she collects words and moves through her daily life on the wings of poetry.