Memories

Memories

written by: K. Exum

@k_exum

 

How come the bad always outweighs the good
I can’t even look at the people in front of me, telling me I could
I only remember the times when they told me I couldn’t
These words flow through my body and I know I shouldn’t
I shouldn’t jump on the mic and let my heart speak
But I just got to let my words breathe
I remember those days when I was trying to impress
I can tell you firsthand when I was down to my last breath
I gave everyone my all, and it was still not enough
I just want to come out and say I’m sorry you didn’t breed an athlete
But I know I shouldn’t speak like this but these pure emotions that I let bleed because I feel incomplete
Because of the goals you set, I didn’t complete
The same memories seem to repeat over and over in my head:
But I know things could be worse, I could be dead
Dead from a bullet I put in my own head
These are the memories I used to have while slumped over the bed on my knees
Used to, who am I kidding knowing that place is still in my head every time I wake
Sorry to have these types of thoughts, but this is what happens when I let my pen fully bleed
I think I am really in need
These the memories I only remember
I try to remember the good but the bad always outweigh
I just try to pick up my head and smile, knowing it’s fake
I have cried so much that I could probably fill a lake
Attempt after attempt, man, I really wanted to make it happen
But my conscience or god told me to stop it
These are the memories that I have of everyone around me
So it’s kinda hard to think of the memories we had that were good
I can’t even believe the words that come out your mouth when you say I could
Because all I remember is you forcing me to be the image, that god presented me as
It’s crazy how these are the memories I just can’t seem to look pass
It’s so hard to keep a straight face around you cause I just want to yell out, fuck you
Fuck you for trying to murder my gift