Oceans Apart

Oceans Apart

written by: Heidi MacCulloch

I can’t be your Ocean
I can’t be your shore
I can’t be your current
I can’t be the core
I can’t be the salt
I can’t be the shells
I see your waves
Crashing into me
Hoping I carry you away

I can’t be what makes you
An Ocean

You’re not losing me
You’re learning what’s healthy
To expect from your child
I’m an adult
Like I’ve always had to be
You need to grow for me
Grow for you
What’s worked for you in the past
Isn’t what I’ve grown to be

Why should I swallow myself
Bury so deep inside
Just so you can play out
What you think is low tide

I’m mad
I’m burning
I’m melting away
Inside I’m red tide
Rotting away

You’ll run away
Because you always do
Waiting for your rudeness
To fade with time
You’re lucky they do

I know you don’t mean to hurt
But you’re hurt
All you lean on is hurt
You think hurt holds power
Because it’s the power that’s been held over you
Suffocating you
It’s where you dwell
Never taking the initiative
To heal and be well

I’m mad at you
For making me feel
Like I’ve done wrong
When all I’ve done is protect you
Pay for you
Be your only friend
Be the back you can always fall on
You need me the most now
All I feel is numb

So for now I can’t be your Ocean
Or the building blocks to yours
I’m too salty
Too full of debris
Too tired of being used

I’ve got to return to my own Sea

• About
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Heidi MacCulloch

My name is Heidi, born in Washington State, currently living in Honolulu Hawaii. I am married and have one magical daughter. I have loved writing since I was a child. It has always been an outlet and a comfort for me. It’s how as an introvert I recover from the World. Nothing makes my heart as full as when I write something I am truly proud of. That ache inside as it slowly evaporates as the words spill onto the paper.

Latest posts by Heidi MacCulloch (see all)

• Oceans Apart - June 8, 2024
• Phases of Me - April 26, 2024
• Joy to The Girl - December 24, 2023