Precious Moments
written by: Valli Henry-Boldini
Have you thought about it again Frank?”
“How about a hot drink before you go to sleep?”
“Frank!”
“Yes, Emily. I have. Now please get some rest. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”
***
The little blue jay landed on the windowsill just as Frank’s heart skipped another beat. He looked at her delicate colours and the way she flitted back and forth along the white peeling ledge. She reminded him so much of his wife Emily, as she skipped along the white sandy beach all those years ago.
Emily lay asleep on their bed. Frank watched her from his favourite window seat and smiled. Thirty years had passed and she had remained his destiny.
As the bright morning sunlight burst through the top half of the windowpane and landed on her ashen face, its warmth stirred her from her slumber and she extended her thin arm to block out its penetrating rays.
“Hey,” she said slowly opening her eyes.
“Hey, my best girl…”
She opened her eyes some more and focused on the one person she loved most in the world as he made his way towards their bed. Frank kissed her gently on her forehead and then sat on the little space she had weakly patted out for him. Her once blonde hair was now streaked with grey strands betraying her true age. They lay straggled out on the pillow, almost reaching out and asking for help.
“Have you been sitting there all night?”
Frank nodded as he whispered “Yes.”
“I’m so tired.” She paused to catch her breath then continued. “I had a strange dream and then the sunlight woke me up.”
“What did you dream?”
“I can’t remember everything just that I was walking in a mist and searching for you. I remember though that I felt a cold suffocating air cutting into my body. Then you called me from a distance.” A weak cough escaped her lips.
“Emily! Here. Sip some water.”
“No… No, I’m fine. Let me finish telling you.” He nodded his agreement and put down the glass as she began again. “You kept saying, ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please come back.’ Your voice sounded so sad, and you couldn’t hear me calling back to you. Then a warm feeling came over me and I felt such peace.”
Frank stared at her then cupped her face in his trembling hands. “Are you hungry Emily? I could make you some scrambled eggs.”
“No. I’m fine, really.”
“But you haven’t eaten since yesterday morning. You must have something.”
“Please, Frank. No.”
They looked into each other’s eyes in silence for a few moments.
“You said last night you’d thought about it, Frank.”
Tears welled up in Frank’s eyes as he kissed her emaciated lips and reached for the bowl of cool water resting on the side table.
“You’ll feel better after I freshen you up a little Emily. Let me wipe that beautiful sleepy face of yours.”
Dipping his hand into the bowl, he squeezed out the excess water from the sponge and gently began washing her face. “That feels better my darling, doesn’t it? I can’t leave my best girl looking untidy now, can I?”
Emily studied his face as the cool water forced goose pimples to appear on her cling film-like skin. Her pale green eyes reflected months of anguish. The cancer had continued to invade her petite structure until it had no other space to crawl into. The doctors had given her six months but the suffering had continued past their predictions causing her skeletal appearance. Yet Frank was still hoping for a miracle. But Emily couldn’t wait.
“Frank, please! I can’t bear the pain anymore.”
Frank bowed his head, then sighed heavily. “I can’t bring myself to do it, Emily. Forgive me,” he whispered repeatedly pounding his head into his palms.
“Frank, listen to me. It’ll be all right. I’m ready. If you truly love me then you have to help me.”
He looked up at her then picked up the bowl and returned it to the side table. His heart was beating so loud it was about to burst through his mouth. He looked again into her pleading eyes.
“Emily, I can’t!!
“Frank, please. You have to! Don’t let me down. Please, Frank. Please!”
Frank put a finger to his lips.
“Shhh Emily. Shhhh my darling. Don’t fret. Please don’t fret! Listen. Just close your eyes and think about that beautiful beach you loved so much. Remember how free we were? Remember how we ran along the sand like two kids on a first date after we found out you were having Jon? You kept saying, this is our little miracle baby.” A faint smile appeared on her lips. “Remember the warm sun then that beautiful sunset?”
Emily closed her eyes and smiled again. “Remember the peace you felt then? Remember how beautiful that was?” Emily’s pale face now seemed to glow back at him. She was his young bride of all those years ago.
Frank’s prayers for guidance had been unanswered until now. Taking a deep breath, he reached out for the concoction he hoped he’d never have to use. “Drink this Emily. It will calm you down a bit.” Emily did as she was asked and sipped until the glass was empty.
“I do truly love you, Emily. Remember that.”
She didn’t resist for long, finally bringing her agony to an end.
“And I always will.”
***
Tears escaped from his cobalt blue eyes as he picked up the phone and dialled…
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR:
Recently there has been much talk in Italy about medically assisted suicide. To date, they have allowed only one for a 44-year-old man who was paralysed in a car accident 12 years earlier.
But there are others who have been denied that choice as Italy is a Roman Catholic country and the Church and numerous politicians are against assisted suicide.
This story shows a loving husband who takes that decision to stop his wife’s suffering.
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