Rejection and Redemption
written by: Doug Hawley
@DougHawley8
Dear Jane Simmons,
Thank you for your wonderful submission. We loved the pace, the imagery, and the characters. This could be turned into a blockbuster book and movie series.
I swooned for the dashing Jorga. So handsome, so romantic. He could be tender and hot with Xenia. I blushed at some of the dialogue and what I assumed happened behind doors. He may have worn Xenia out, but in a good way. I could really identify with the way she adored him.
I don’t want to imply that the romance is the only good part of your book. I loved the adventure they had stowing away on a freighter to aid the freedom fighters trying to save Takanda from the Russians. I got chills from the chapter that followed them sneaking into the Russian base disguised as soldiers. I cherish the scene of them looking back at the base being destroyed in flames and was warmed the toast given to them by Takanda’s president as he presented them with “Heroes Of Takanda” medals.
This brings me to the painful part of my decision. We found a comma on page 197 which should have been a semi-colon. On page 52 “Poughkeepsie” was misspelled. Taken together these lapses force us to decline your mostly excellent book.
All is not lost! We would look upon a slightly revised submission with great favor. Obviously you would first need to correct those two egregious grammar errors. Second, we ask you to make some minor changes to make your story a better fit with our readership. Xenia is not a character that resonates with our audience. They appreciate a more middle-American type, say fortyish and less “ethnic”, perhaps less model beautiful. Maybe forty-five, graying, five foot three, a hundred and fifty pounds.
I look forward to reviewing your revised book successfully. I’m predicting best seller.
Julie Jones, Editor Exotic Romance
