The Demonist
written by: Richard Bishop
@rbbishopwriter
Seth stumbled home from Rochester Collegiate, holding back tears, and trying to convince himself it didn’t matter. At fifteen he was too big to cry.
Monica Mayflower and her pack of princesses had photoshopped posters planting Seth’s head on a pig’s body. They appeared on every school bulletin board and social media platform. She’d taped a blown-up copy to his locker.
It wasn’t his fault. His mother was a large woman, and his father was more round than tall. When he complained, the school counselor told him to grow a skin and man up. His nerdy friends were too chicken to speak in his defense lest they become the next target. He’d have to endure the humiliation until Monica and her swarm found a new victim.
Or did he?
***
Alone in his bedroom, Seth rocked faster and faster, repeating the words of the summoning spell he’d found on the dark web. A sulfurous green mist formed outside the blue chalk pentagram drawn on his bedroom floor. The air reeked with the stench of fused electric wires and something long dead.
A sudden pop slapped his ears.
From the mist, a being emerged.
It was a koala bear dressed in a blue pinstriped suit and smoking a cigar, who said, “You summoned.”
Seth blinked and tried his big voice. “You will obey me.”
The creature waved his cigar. “Sure, sure. Whatever you say, bub.” He blew a smoke ring. “So why am I here?”
Seth recovered his bravado. “You must do as I command.”
The koala shrugged. “Like what?”
“I want Monica Mayflower to know what it’s like to be chubby.”
The little bear frowned. “That’s all? No zits? I could get her knocked up.”
Seth shook his head. “No. I want her to blow up like the Goodyear blimp so big she could rent her ass for advertising space.”
“Okay. Can do. But are you willing to pay the price?”
Seth crossed his arms. “You can’t have my soul if that’s what you want.”
The koala shook its head. “We don’t do that anymore. We’ve been overbooked since the last election. Here’s what I’m thinking. Along the fence between our place and the other side, we’ve accumulated a gigantic pile of bullshit, mostly from timeshare presentations and weather reports. We’ll get you to shovel the pile over the fence. Whaddaya say?”
Seth closed his eyes, hoping this wasn’t a demonish trick. “I’ll do it.”
“I’ll need a drop of your blood to seal the bargain.”
Seth pricked his finger with his pocket knife and flicked a drop of blood towards the bear.
The koala caught it on his tongue and as he slowly faded away. “Next Saturday, I’ll come for you.”
When Seth logged onto his computer later that afternoon, it was all over social media. Monica’s parents had bought an ice cream shop.
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