The Drifting Essence
written by: Susanna Sousa
Dear Theodore Hatchwell,
I realize this is one of my more serious letters, and I apologize profusely if I cause you heartache. By the time you read this, I shall be pursuing the answers to all of my questions of being. When the moonlight strikes just so, when the feathery silver pervades each blade of grass and the shadows become dark as a black void and the stars are so crystalline clear that they seem almost to be sharp, is when the miracle begins.
I met it first thirty-three days ago, and it has changed my entire sense of purpose. It is something lovely, though I am not sure of its essence. Not human, but for certain possesses a soul. I saw it walking past and I, shocked by the sight, stood silent and frozen in fear. Not in any way resembling a person, I could not recognize this creature as anything familiar or encountered previously. I will refrain from listing details too specific to the physical description, Theodore, for I do not want to implicate myself with insanity or foolery. However, it was the spirit of the thing that mattered most, for that was what I took to heart. The eyes held a vast kindness coupled with a curiosity, and the movements were concise and direct. A fellow creature of science, I felt.
After a moment of studying it, I tried to speak out, to greet it, to ask questions. It did not seem to hear; however I did observe that it moved in a way that may be construed as attempting to communicate as well. We both continued for a while before stopping. At this point we just looked at each other, studying and admiring. I smiled and hoped it would be interpreted as friendly. Never before have I seen such beauty in such a raw form. Something unique, frightening, completely unknown. Yet instead of being filled with anger and fear and hatred I was awed and inspired. Such is life! To be unexpected.
After a time, the being walked away and faded into the darkness. Perhaps to its own world, its own time, its own universe. And I turned around and returned to my own reality and responsibilities. But it never left my mind, this creature, consuming my thoughts until I had to go back, I must go back.
I returned again and again and was repeatedly disappointed. An empty moonlight met me time and time again. I saw myself in this creature’s eyes, a version of me that I did not know could ever exist. Perhaps it really was me, the same matter and energy and space dust that forms me here is the same that formed that being. A version of me that dwells in a different world, with different words, a different voice. We are the same yet have been parted by a fabric that cannot be explained. Perhaps I will never see it again, but the hope remains.
Theodore, if only I could share this experience with you so you could see! My eyes have been opened. I have left you, Theodore, and by the time you read this I will hopefully no longer exist as you knew me. Perhaps I will more fully become the creature I saw, the creature I recognized as myself, the one I hope to become. Perhaps a small fraction of my consciousness here will drift through the space dust and the voids and trickle into that being. Thus, my essence, drifting about the universe, will become more beautiful. Beauty in the unknown, Theodore, beauty in the unknown.
Pursue it.
With all my wishes for your success in your search for yourself, whether in this world or another,
Your friend.
- The Drifting Essence - August 22, 2024
