The Easter Egg Hunt
written by: roger turner
@titansdad
I don’t know how it started
But it’s an annual event
But I don’t think that an egg hunt
Is the best way to present
The story of our saviour
Chocolate eggs you go and find
I don’t think that’s the image
That the church wants in our mind
Every year since I was little
Our family made a choice
Either host the Easter Dinner
Or go hunting for eggs and toys
This year we chose the egg hunt
It was better than the meal
But our egg hunt went all wonky
In fact it all was so surreal
Most years twenty people
Showed to hunt about the yard
so setting out some easter eggs
Didn’t seem so hard
But this year, thanks to Facebook
People showed up by the score
When all was done the count was
One hundred twenty-four.
With that many people coming
A family meeting then took place
One hundred twenty-four people
This was way off base
With Uncles, Aunts and cousins
Grandparents and the rest
some new plans would be needed
to execute this test
I thought about logistics
There was only so much yard
To run an easter egg hunt
Was going to be hard
I checked the list of children
Eighty seven kids or so
But I said that we would host it
So I could not tell them no
I called up all the Uncles
Told them come around to plan
They all showed up as suggested
All fourteen, to a man
We needed eggs and then some
Chocolate, mallow… every kind
We had to hit the stores fast
We had to buy up every kind
Baskets, ribbons, bows and stuff
stuffed rabbits, all they had
We had near ninety children
And we could not have them sad
We drank and set agendas
We all planned out our attack
They would all come out beforehand
And the goodies, we’d unpack
The women met as well though
Dying eggs would be their task
They got 100 dozen large eggs
and some colouring to mask
The last time plans were handled
on a scale as big as this
Was on D-Day for the Allies
And we knew that didn’t miss
We had crepe paper for streamers
Balloons and chocolate logs
but the one thing we’d forgotten
We also had twelve dogs
We had to keep them busy
While we figured out just how
We were going to hide all of our presents
And we had to figure NOW!
We called up to the kennel
To book them all in for the night
But, they didn’t have the space so
We’d have to make do with our plight
Two days before Good Friday
All the parents showed to meet
We would plan and hide the goodies
We would all be so discreet
We would hide the eggs on Friday
While the kids all went to pray
Then we’d come back here for dinner
And we’d finish Saturday
It was easy, a no brainer
We would pull it off….with ease
It would take great execution
And the children would be pleased
On Friday night they all arrived
And were given tasks we all could handle
We all went out to the yard to hide
The eggs, by lighted candle
We stuck them up in trees and then
In bushes by our gnomes
We hid them in the veggie patch
We hid them in our home
When finished we’d put eggs and toys
Of every shape and size
We were all so bloody tired
We could barely blink our eyes
The next day all our work was shot
When we went outside to see
That night after we’d finished
Some racoons came out of the tree
twelve hundred eggs and four racoons
Two skunks and nineteen rats
Decided that they like out smorgasbord
And to them then…that was that
Hard boiled eggs of every size
For them to come and eat
After surveying the damage
We vowed we’d not be beat
We set to work and dyed more eggs
another nine hundred in all
We sent all of the mothers out
To buy gifts at the mall
We’d lay them out before the hunt
We didn’t care when they got hid
We had to have an easter game
For eighty-seven kids
We strung the streamers through the house
We wrapped the willow tree
It looked just like “The Party Place”
Had blown up…just for me
We put balloons up everywhere
The kids would be surprised
Uncle Jack would wear a bunny suit
It was a good disguise
With lots of work and alcohol
We’d get this egg hunt done
And come hell or come high water
The children would have fun
On Sunday they came back from Church
And I want you all to know
That we had a real nice dinner
For we overlooked the snow
While sitting in the church pews
Hearing tales of Easters Past
A storm came in so vicious
And it came in really fast
By the time we’d reached the garden
There was one foot on the ground
It had snuck up on us quickly
And it didn’t make a sound
So the egg hunt never came about
We took them out for lunch
It’ll be our last time trying this
At least that is my hunch
If it comes down to a choice now
To ever utilize my home
For an egg hunt here at Easter
I won’t answer the phone!
- The Poppy Man - November 11, 2024
- Oceans Away - October 10, 2024
- The Wild West - August 2, 2024
