This World is Yours, poetry by Michael L. Utley at Spillwords.com
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This World is Yours

Michael L. Utley·
EnglishPoetry
·19 Comments·1 min read·

This World is Yours

written by: Michael L. Utley

 

you thought you could
save the world
wee lad
you couldn’t even
save yourself

those bleak nighthawk skies
where dead stars fall
like blood-bloated flies
and fey winds howl
in deafened ears
a behemoth’s fetid exhalation
violent and ignorant
and inexorable

breathe
breathe it all in
the sweat-soaked fear
the bitter tang of futility
fill your lungs
wee lad
this world is yours
as far as tear-blurred
eyes can see

pry up decrepit floorboards
in the dim derelict
cellar of childhood
see the blind white-bellied
squirming things
trundle dumbly, aimlessly
in sepulchral voids
gelatinous excreta
glistening in darkness
a treasure trove
of memories
a box of hell
a gift that keeps on giving
handle these with care
wee lad
lest they consume your soul

you battled the familiar demon
on twilight moors of yore
he wore your scar for years
you’ll wear his for eternity
wee lad
your popsicle stick sword
your pie tin shield
your best intentions
your noble cause
did you really think
you had a chance in hell
of slaying the beast?
what’s a little blood
between father and son?

the elixir of time is a lie
there is no balm for
a childhood stripped
from its moorings
with such casual cruelty

see the sullen sun
heliograph dully
on the lake of fate
see the dun birds
peregrinate incuriously above
see the reflection on the water
the wee old man
with hollow eyes
and broken soul
see the pulsing stormcloud
brooding, ever-present
on the horizon

the myth of idyllic youth
the hue of quicksilver
and autumn wheat
the clever, cloying scent
of false hope
the raucous, pealing thunder
of sundered souls
the thresher’s flail looms
and you fall before it as chaff
blown from this world
on eldritch zephyrs

within the forest of years
the darkling path
opens before you
and closes behind
in peristaltic spasms
as the trees swallow you
in green silence
this quiet place
devoid of time
a resting place
a tomb of giants
a dying place
for those so inclined
no memories allowed here
nor light nor love nor healing
only darkness
and the furtive murmur
of moon-shadows

you were a boy once
for seven years
now your ethereal form
drifts among
strange nameless constellations
across forgotten eons
you won’t find yourself here
wee lad
that kid is long gone
but you must find something
before all is lost

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19 Responses

  1. One of the most soul-etching poems I will ever read in my life. Mike Utely has this way with words that opens the heart, flirts with the imagination, and leaves an indelible mark on the reader. This is truly a great piece of poetry Mike.

    1. Thanks so much for your kind words. This piece was a journey for me, the dredging up of childhood memories in an attempt to make sense of the senselessness of domestic violence from a child’s perspective. Memories can last a lifetime, and while I still have work to do, writing helps in a profound way to harness those memories and put them to rest. Thank you for reading and leaving such a thoughtful comment. Much appreciated. 🙂

  2. This is the most incredible poem that I have read in a long time. The imagery is startling. I can relate to so much that is said in this poem. I feel like a kindred spirit, thank you Michael for this amazing poem.

    1. Many thanks for your kindness. This one was difficult to write, but also therapeutic and liberating. What we experience as children growing up in a dysfunctional family shapes us, changes us and never really leaves us. We’re left with a mess to clean up, one placed upon us by our parents, and many of us struggle all of our lives as we attempt to fix what someone else did to us. Writing is miraculous sometimes as it allows us to tame those amorphous thoughts and memories so we can handle them more effectively. It’s my hope that people who have experienced something similar will know they’re not alone, that someone else understands. That kinship is important in our healing.

      Thanks again for taking time to read and comment. I truly appreciate it. 🙂

  3. Love this Mike and Congratulations!
    I just responded on Nigel’s post where he shared it.

    “Mike’s art in words always are gifts to the soul. This is a masterpiece. Thanks for sharing”.

    You shed light with your powerful imagery and give hope to suffering everywhere.
    Thanks for inspiring❣️❤️

    1. Thanks a bunch, Cindy. Your generous comments always make my day! I appreciate your support so much, my friend. I’m glad you enjoyed this dark piece, and I hope it really does shine a bit of light that will help others feel less alone. Your kindness is so appreciated. 🙂

      1. You’re so very welcome Mike. It’s most deserved and I’m so excited in as you continue to share your truth and move into your pinnacle of success and recognition! It’s my honor to support and sit back and enjoy the show and all you create❣️💓

  4. Dearest Mike, your words hit home, and your writing is awe-inspiring. Congratulations on your publication on SpillWords. I am so glad you sent them some of your work. You are such an incredibly gifted poet. I could read your work all day because, as an ACOA (Adult Child of Alcoholics) or any home where dysfunction or abuse takes place, I relate on such a personal level that it is hard for anyone to understand the intensity and the actual value of your poetic brilliance. For those who have lived with this dysfunction as a child/teenager, this type of poetry helps to educate and relates to a side of us, many people understand but can not talk about it for many reasons. Often, it is a shame. Thank you, Mike, for sharing your world as a child/teenager. This part of your poem that I amalgamated with was the following:

    “pry up decrepit floorboards
    in the dim derelict
    cellar of childhood
    see the blind white-bellied
    squirming things
    trundle dumbly, aimlessly
    in sepulchral voids
    gelatinous excreta
    glistening in darkness
    a treasure trove
    of memories    ”

    I left you some love with a little heart above, but my appreciation for your courage and need for more of this poetry that millions of people in the US relate to, as well as people all over the world, is filled with bold magazines, and SpillWords is one such magazine. Congratulations again, Mike, and thank you so much, Dagmara and staff, for this publication.

    1. Much gratitude to you, Joni, for such a deeply felt and beautiful comment. I knew you could identify with this poem. Too many people go through what we did, and so many are unable to talk about it or move past it, and it’s tragic. I wanted to let people know that someone understands. Feeling alone in our pain and grief is devastating and does so much damage to our hearts and souls. I kept it all inside for so long for a host of reasons, but many years ago realized I have the power to do something with it now, and that was a watershed moment for me. So, I write about this stuff to put order to it and I hope it resonates with others who grew up (or are still caught) in a dysfunctional family situation. We’re all in this together, after all.

      I’m so pleased that Dagmara and her staff published this piece. It’s such an honor to share my work here at Spillwords Press. So, thanks to Dagmara, and thanks to you, Joni, for reading and caring and being such a tireless advocate for children who suffer in dysfunctional families. Much appreciated, my friend. 🙂

  5. The metaphors are not only beautiful but also incredibly effective, making this evocative poem a formidable force. You are a master of your craft, Michael. Your art deserves all the recognition. Congratulations!

    1. Kindest thanks, Aaysid. I appreciate your support so much, especially as it comes from someone whose writing I hold in such high regard. Your thoughtful appraisal means the world to me, my friend. I’m so glad you enjoyed this poem, and I thank you for taking the time to check it out and leave such a warm response. Truly grateful to you. 🙂

  6. Hi Mike,

    Congratulations on this publication! I’m grateful to read your first submission, and I know there will be many more to come. Your imagery and emotions through your poetry are always so profound and powerful. This poem touches me deeply, but then again, everything I read that you pen affects me in the same way. The lives of your readers are enriched by immersing themselves into your extraordinary writing. Congrats again, and take good care, my friend. 🩷

    1. Lauren, your thoughtful comments and wonderful support mean the world me. Thank you so much for reading this piece and sharing your inspiring words with me. I always strive to dig deeply and honestly, no matter how painful it may be, and share what I find in the hopes that it might somehow help someone else who may have experienced something similar. Cobbling together memories in a creative fashion is a cathartic act, and it’s profoundly healing sometimes. I’m so glad you found this poem appealing. It’s a special one for me. Thanks again for your support and encouragement, my friend. I appreciate you. 🙂

    1. Thank you kindly, Diana. Your constant support is a beautiful thing, my friend. I appreciate you so much. I’m really glad to know this poem spoke to you. 😊

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