Conversations with Grand Dog
written by: Nina Taylor
Monday
Grand dog: I hate this sweater. Makes me look absolutely ridiculous.
Me: But you have to wear it because it’s freezing cold.
Grand dog: Then I’m just going to grab the biggest stick I can and carry it in my mouth. Gotta have some street cred- especially if we meet Bonzo Boxer on the way.
Me: Suit yourself. But you do know that makes you look even more ridiculous, don’t you.
Grand dog: Oooh. Harsh. At least I’m not walking along carrying a bag of dog poo. Huh? See? How do you like that then? Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
Me: No thanks. I’d rather not.
Wednesday
Grand dog: It’s not cold today so why do I have to wear this sweater? You said I had to last time because it was cold.
Me: Because it’s muddy today and it’ll splash all up your legs and on your tummy.
Grand dog: I don’t care. I like mud. I’d rather get muddy than wear this sweater!!
Me: You either keep the sweater on or I hose you down in the yard when we get home.
Grand dog: You wouldn’t, would you? That’s cruelty to animals. I’ll get my buddies onto you if you do.
Me: Your choice – sweater or hose.
Grand dog: You’re so mean sometimes.
Thursday
Grand dog: Hallelujah!! Freedom!! No stupid sweater. How come?
Me: I got cheesed off listening to you wittering on about it.
Grand dog: But it’s a bit chilly today.
Me: No it’s not.
Grand dog: You’ve got that big coat and gloves on. ‘Course you’re not cold.
Me: I dress for the weather – unlike some of us.
Grand dog: Can we go home now? I’m really cold.
Me: Come on then. Lesson learned.
- Conversations with Grand Dog - March 15, 2025
- The Snowdrop - December 10, 2024
- Hedgehog - July 29, 2024
