Grey Poupon
written by: Kelly Jeanne
A passenger boards a train and approaches a gentleman sitting by himself…
“Excuse me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?” She asked, with hope clearly pooling in her eyes.
The gentleman’s steely gaze softened toward her.
He felt sorry for her, yet at the same time, couldn’t believe the faux pas she had committed, allowing all those within earshot to hear how destitute she was. She was either very naive or very brave.
“My good woman, for your own safety, please keep your voice down. Last week, someone was foolish enough to ask for a bottle of Perrier.”
“Excuse me?” Her brows knit together in confusion.
“Surely, you must see the dire consequences behind your words?”
How she hated it when someone answered a question with a question. Why can’t people be more direct? She had to keep reminding herself she wasn’t in the States anymore. She truly regretted being sent to Blubberhouses in North Yorkshire, England, on this writing assignment by her boss.
One more week and it’s back to Chicken Bristle, Illinois.
She definitely preferred bristle over blubber any day.
“Look over there.” He pointed with his cane.
She turned. At first, she didn’t see anything. After focusing for a minute, she noticed a small monitor. On the screen, she saw herself, along with the gentleman, pointing with his cane.
Cameras? Why cameras? she asked herself in shock!
As if reading her mind, the gentleman responded,
“Ever since we came under the rule of Lord Pompous and Lady Pompadour, it’s not been the same.”
“What’s wrong with asking for Grey Poupon?”
“It’s not what you ask for. It’s that you asked at all because it plainly shows, as far as our Lord and Lady are concerned, the impoverished state in which you are living.”
Just as he was about to continue, with the purpose of saving her, the doors to the car suddenly flew open and in walked a couple of armed guards, smartly dressed in their stately uniforms, marching swiftly toward the woman.
The look of fear in her eyes and the involuntary gasp that escaped her lips said it all.
What fate lies ahead for our heroine? Will she be imprisoned in the infamous Tower? Will she be taken to the executioner, where the crowd will eagerly await the moment she is beheaded while enjoying a picnic on the lawn?
Sadly, we will never know.
- The Disturbance At The Bear Family Home - June 10, 2025
- Grey Poupon - September 22, 2021
