It’s Witching Season
written by: Andrea Walker
Better beware…
It’s witching season
And those girls
They don’t need
Much of a reason
To boil your bones
In a big black pot
Cos lots of witchy recipes
They’ve certainly got
They’ll pick you out
Swoop down on their broom
Then you’ll be tied up tight
In some dark back room
They’ll cure your meat
Season it with salt
You’ll sit there wondering
Is this all my own fault
Should I have worn garlic
About my torso
Carried a cross
Or even more so
Bought a black cat
Familiar with their wants
Who’d warn me loudly
When they were on the hunt
How do you stop
A witch who’s starving
For the human flesh
Of the not yet departed
They’ll use their magic
Conjure up a spell
To cook you to perfection
Oh, you’ll be boiled up well
With some odd ingredients
You’ll be in big trouble
As they circle around you
Chanting hubble and bubble
The only thing I can suggest
To ward off this omen
Is the old adage
If you can’t beat em, then join em’
I understand eating humans
Is an acquired taste
Maybe you can profess you’re vegan
Hate seeing the veggies go to waste
And as they dine
On a foot or a hand
You can nibble on the left overs
They’ll not be in great demand
The first vegan witch
They ever encountered
Dining on carrots
Not some man they’ve slaughtered
It’s witching season
Stay in doors if you’re able
Or you might be the main course
On some witches table
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