Merry Christmas and The Dress Dilemma
written by: Joyce Bingham
@JoyceBingham10
“How about this?” Sally says, holding aloft a dress of crimson chiffon.
“Frightful. It gets unbelievably cold at the North Pole; I’ll need a longer hem to cover my bum,” Merry replies.
She waves a black woollen dress at Sally for approval.
“No, it’ll be hot at the dance; you can’t wear long sleeves.” Sally parades a scarlet diminutive scrap of satin against her winter coat.
“Come on, who can wear these dresses? They would show all the bits I want to hide.” Merry thumps the hanger onto the rail.
“And no red. I see enough of it.”
“Stop looking at the frumpy stuff. Ask yourself if your Gran would wear it, and if the answer is yes, put it back,” Sally says, “come on love, let’s get you something nice. For you. This once.”
Merry gives Sally a quivering smile, tears brimming.
“How about coffee?” Sally says, nodding to the tearoom. They follow the clink of teaspoons and the warm smell of cinnamon.
“Better?” Sally asks as Merry takes a sip. Merry avoids her gaze.
“What’s wrong Merry? You can talk to me.”
“It’s so stressful, shopping at this time of year. The incessant Christmas music. Like I don’t get enough of it at home.”
Merry takes a nibble of her Christmas cinnamon muffin with red and green sprinkles.
“There’s the Excel spreadsheet,” Merry says, “the constant pinging 24/7 when someone changes from one list to another and switches back again.”
Merry sniffs as she winds a tissue in her fingers, pulling and tearing at the holly adorned paper.
“Then I worry if he’ll come back safe when he is out on his deliveries. Remember a few years ago, he got stuck in that chimney. We were lucky those children pulled him out, and of course, they had to go and tell everyone, Nick was mortified.”
“Have you thought of going away, doing something different?” Sally offers Merry a fresh mistletoe sprigged tissue.
“You know we can’t leave it to anyone else. I mean, the elves are great, but they are so irresponsible,” Merry says, “thankfully, Nick has stopped the excessive drinking and overeating on the day. I’ve had to take in his suit and buy him a shorter belt.”
“Oh well done Nick, how has he managed that?” Sally raises her Christmas blend latte with gingerbread syrup.
“He decants any drinks left for him into a tank on the sleigh. After the Christmas Day ball, the elves are hungover for a week; the workshop smells like a brewery.”
Merry giggles, Sally joins in until both are snorting and wiping their eyes.
“Nick now eats the carrots with the tub of hummus I make him keep in his pocket,” Merry says.
“That’s working well, even if the elves feel the worse for wear,” says Sally, “I’m sure it’s a bit of a relief, you and Nick being alone together while they sleep it off.”
“Oh, it gets worse, the vet has warned us that Rudolph is getting too fat on the mince pies. The leprechauns are threatening strike action; they want more rainbows or they won’t muck out the stables because the glitter in the reindeer droppings stains their clothes.”
“You could offer the leprechauns a share of the drink from the sleigh tank and as many mince pies as they can eat?”
“Sally, that’s a great idea, I get that sorted when I get home.”
“Let’s go and buy you a sexy little dress for the Christmas Day ball. Give Nick something delightful to come home to on Christmas morning.”
“Perhaps a sunny yellow or a dazzling blue, anything but red with fake fur trimmings,” Merry says, “come on, I’ve got a lot of wrapping to supervise.”
- Merry Christmas and The Dress Dilemma - December 13, 2023
