Not Easy
written by: L.M. Giannone
@LISAGNO
time and time again
I’ve tried to hate you
even after all this time,
the years of hurt and pain,
disappointment and disillusion
but it still isn’t easy to hate you
even after the incessant disrespect
and ill-mannered treatment
the taking advantage
all take and no give
Treating me like a convenience
Only when it suits you
Why do you treat me this way time and time again?
even after multiple chances?
they say it’s crazy when you do the same thing over and over again
and expect a different result
then I must be crazy
crazy for falling,
crazy for staying,
crazy for loving,
why do I disrespect myself so much?
allowing you to stomp on me with such heavy feet?
Dangling your large sweet carrot in my face
as if that makes it all better
your ego is so out of whack
it’s time to come back down to earth, astronaut
treating me like I’m a dime a dozen
like yesterday’s garbage
as if you could do better than me
you admitted to me and yourself that you know
the decisions you’ve made have been stupid
I didn’t say it, you did, and I concur
and yet you follow the same pattern again and again
making the same mistakes, stomping over me
everything I said and did for you
even when I was the only person who would
doesn’t even seem to matter to you
you toss me away without even a backward glance
and then expect me to open my door and legs when you are in the mood
not even your adorable face, sensitivity, vulnerability and past traumas
will work as an excuse anymore
when they were handing out manners
you got in the wrong line for sure
no more free passes, no more extra or overtime
the final quarter is over and the game is done
and yet I still won’t turn my back on you
when you come crying again
a case of amnesia may be my only salvation
to free my heart from your tight grip
my revolving door is now locked shut
You are refused service in my establishment
I’m closed for business.
try the sucker down the road.
She is the author of No Vacancy, a collection of humorous personal essays, and A Touch of Noir, a collection of short stories written in noir style. She has two books in the works for 2017 publication.
