Not Now

Not Now

written by: Debbie Hewson

@debbiehewson3

 

Not now, that’s what we say
On the phone, almost everyday
We don’t want to listen to
People trying to sell to you

Not now, too busy now
Don’t tell me why or explain how
Don’t bring me a prognosis
Don’t tell me something like this

I have so many things to do
So many things I wanted to
What if there is no more
If my feet can’t find the floor

Feeling frightened, lost and small
Not up to the fight at all
Taking huge fat gulps of air
Enjoying it, now it may be rare

Gritted teeth through every day
Working hard with bills to pay
Surprised and just a bit relieved
Seems I’m stronger than I’d believed

Giving up? Time for giving in?
Gaining weight, or getting thin
I’ll get through all this somehow
I don’t have time for this, not now