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Scars

written by: Brandi Easterling Collins

 @caniscareyou

 

Some nights when I can’t sleep
My mind wanders back to another time
Where the heartache must have happened
To someone else, someone I never knew.

I want to go back sometimes
Maybe to right the wrongs
Or do things differently.
The memories still have power over me.

I hate that I’m still reminded of you
After so many years and wasted tears.
I wish I could take them all back.
It was my youth I allowed stolen.

I gave you myself because I loved you.
I managed to survive the pain of loss,
But then you came back
And almost destroyed what was left of me.

When I let you break my heart again
It was my fault, and yours too.
Do I regret loving you? No.
Do I wish things had ended differently?

Maybe. No. Not really.
I locked away the hurt, pushed it down.
The scars from you are healing,
But still bleed sometimes.

I want to see a shooting star,
Without thinking of our first kiss.
I want back the passion I had then
To share with someone who loves me.

Late at night when I can’t sleep
And words come flowing out of me
I want back that piece of my soul,
The one I gave to you.

I’m a fraud who’s lost part of herself
along the way. I have to get it back.
I can’t take back my youth
Or the time and tears spent.

I try to hide my scars
but they resurface.
I can’t erase the memories
So I must write over them.

Brandi Easterling Collins

Brandi Easterling Collins

Brandi Easterling Collins discovered her passion for writing while still in junior high. She developed her own writing style and pursued a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Arkansas Tech University. She is a published short-story author and blogger. Her debut novel was twenty years in the making. She lives in Dardanelle, Arkansas with her husband and two children.
Brandi Easterling Collins

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