Since He Was Taken Away
written by: Gypsy Glover
@gypsy_glover
As always upfront disclosure when something I write may be sad or trigger in some similar way- as it is for myself- a lot. It’s the reason I write yeah? So.. this one is about death… an… “accidental suicide” but honestly was what we believe- was a murder covered up and the hassle of paperwork being “unideal”… so please know that before reading my poem… If you’re not okay with these things please do not read if it will be hurtful or harmful to you- that isn’t what I want for you.
It’s been a while… longer than I am even still comfortable with…
It’s taken this long to get used to it… the very existence that you even existed is morbidly reminiscent of the dream of nightmares of you fighting… to awaken to the banging of the door getting louder…
Them shouting we have to go home… and all I can say is… what happened to my brother…
It’s this wondering and aching longing for the truth, years and years of unknowns and mounds of doubt and confusion recklessly hidden in plain sight…. Out in the open and denial and in denial… even if she admits it… they can’t and won’t convict it….
Having to see you laying bruised, cut up, and broken…. Your brain pushing its way out of your eye…. and yet they keep saying it’s you who did this…
Did you dislocate your own knee?
Did you scratch up your arms, neck, and hands?
Did you also squeeze your own neck hard enough to leave bruises there too?
How could you with your long arms and legs sit down on a mattress on the floor, put a gun behind your own head, and pull the trigger?
Please… tell me. How did you do this and manage to put your body into a lawn chair?
Help me understand why…. Why would you do this with woman’s children across the hall?
As much as you love children especially your own…. What possessed you to do something you’ve kept children away from your entire life?
Never have you ever allowed violence around kids… yell or scream… no. Not you. So why?
She says…. You had three bullets.
One out the window
One inside the wall
The one inside your head
So tell me beloved… brother how did the other 3 bullets get into the gun…
She said you took them out and showed them to her… and she just turned back around to watch tv… and you told her you would pull the trigger….
Feels like I’m still trapped inside of Swiss cheese trying to unravel this bloody story….
I remind myself a lot…. That she… her brother and his friend… may very well be walking corpses.
For they have the truth…. And it’ll eat away and rot them from the inside….
I may have a broken heart… feel unheard… knowing they could have done more and uncovered the truth that is in their faces….
I just have to trust the Universe won’t let all of these things happening to us all go in vain…. In some way we will have peace… and some karmic justice too….
But… since he was taken away, this is all I’ve been left with.
- Since He Was Taken Away - April 18, 2023
