The Buffet of Broken Dates
written by: Peter Rehn
Joe looked across the table, frowning, his appetite long gone. Mary, his date for the evening, seemed nice until she started tucking into her food.
It wasn’t just the way she ate, bits of food flying everywhere, but the volume. He wondered how anyone ate that much?
Conversation was impossible. She was at the buffet or consumed by her eating.
Ashamed, sensing the judgmental stares of others, Joe reached for his glass and took a sip of water before excusing himself and headed for the restroom.
As he walked down the corridor, feeling defeated, he couldn’t help but reflect on how often he found himself in this situation. What kept going so wrong for him?
Savor, where he brought all his dates, an upmarket, all-you-can-eat restaurant. Its reputation that of being the best eatery in town. The atmosphere lent itself to intimate conversations, if your companion was up for it.
As he passed, the gargoyle with evil-looking eyes seemed to recognize him. He was here that often.
This was his fifth date in as many weeks, all arranged by his mother, Meridith. She wanted him to meet someone with whom he would start a family so that she could have grandchildren.
Joe only hope, since his sister Joetta made it clear that having kids would ruin her career prospects.
Approaching thirty and still living at home, he felt the pressure. According to his mum, time was running out. He needed to act, but his shyness held him back, having allowed his mother to keep him reined in. Over the years, her behavior turned him into a spoiled grown-up kid, his mother’s lapdog. He seemed to fill the void left by Joe’s departed father, Pat, who eventually moved to Australia. Likely searching for the greatest distance from her.
Joe was still very dependent on his mother, or so she thought.
Some months ago, when he found an apartment and told her of his plan to move out, she suddenly fell ill and claimed she needed his help to care for her. He was too considerate towards her to approach the subject since.
Now, Joe stood in the restroom, his despondent face staring back at him from the mirror. He reflected on his situation and his past dates, all unsuccessful. Afraid she would break down if he asked her to stop setting him up. He lacked courage for now, but a solution needed to be found. A way to keep her happy while he reined in his own life. He just wasn’t sure how to resolve it, but he was sure that if things continued like this, he would lose it one day. Perhaps he would have to get on with life, not caring about what his mother would do.
Five weeks ago, Joe had been on a date with Aoife, who, in his mother’s opinion, came from a nice family and that was all that mattered. Aoife, however, turned out to suffer from verbal diarrhea, firing questions at Joe so rapidly that he had no chance to respond.
He stopped answering when he realized Aoife’s misunderstanding about people’s ears and mouths.
The other dates were equally disastrous.
Joe splashed cold water on his face, returned, and summoned up the courage to end the date. Mary would still eat; he thought as he walked out of the restroom. Probably clearing out the dessert buffet by now.
As he reached the table, he saw that Mary’s seat stood empty. He sat down, assuming she was in the restroom herself, but he noticed people at nearby tables whispering and glancing at him.
A staff member approached and informed him that his companion left, thinking he had abandoned her because of his long absence. He glanced at his watch and realized he spent over half an hour in the bathroom.
He got up, thanked the staff member, and walked towards the door. She followed him, and once they were out of earshot of the other patrons, she smiled at him.
“Another unlucky date then,” she remarked.
“Yes,” Joe replied. “I seem to have a few of them lately.”
Carla introduced herself and suggested, “Maybe you and I could go on a date?” she said confidently.
Joe looked at her, surprised. He didn’t recognize her, and her knowledge of his dates, very intriguing. She must have kept a keen eye on him.
Carla was very attractive, with short, dark hair and a beautiful face. A tattoo barely visible on her neck below the collar. How could he not have noticed her? Perhaps for the same reason he depended on his mother to set him up on dates. He simply lacked the skills to notice any potential female interest.
Confidence oozed out of Carla, but she didn’t seem cocky. A tingle radiated through Joe’s body.
“How do you know?” he asked. “I can’t remember seeing you around here,” he continued.
“Oh, I’ve been around and seen how you have suffered. You deserve a break,” she laughed.
“That I do,” Joe replied, blushing.
“Great,” Carla said. “My place next Friday at seven. I cook. I hate dining out as I’m in a restaurant almost every day, anyway.”
They swapped numbers, and Joe headed home with a spring in his step, the evening having turned around for him. The thought of their upcoming date filled him with a sense of hope he hadn’t felt in months.
After that Friday, Joe didn’t need to go on dates anymore. He had hit it off with Carla on that first date. So much, in fact, that he didn’t get home until the next morning. Their connection instant and undeniable. She proved to be the girl of his dreams. While Joe lacked confidence, thanks to his controlling mother, Carla was mentally strong, and they complimented each other well. She had to push Joe, but he was a quick learner and his confidence grew quickly. Equally, Joe needed to hold Carla back sometimes when she was being a bit too confident, taking unnecessary risks.
When Joe told his mother, she was skeptical. Carla worked as a server, and her family came from the wrong area. Not good enough for her precious son. What would her friends think? Would her pretentious friends still invite her for tea?
Joe had filled Carla in on Meridith, and she knew exactly how to deal with her. Almost daily, customers similar to her dined at the restaurant. Entitled and demanding, full of arrogance and treating staff like they owned them.
She planned to talk with Meridith to clarify matters.
When Joe moved in with Carla, Meridith had still been a pain, calling him several times a day, demanding Joe’s attention. After Carla told Joe it had to stop, he had finally summoned the courage to put his mother in her place. It had been hard, and she sulked for weeks, even signing herself into the hospital, but soon she realized that if she didn’t release Joe, she would lose him completely. She could not risk that. He was all she had, really.
One year later, Meredith sat in Savor, holding a baby girl. She had accepted Carla, especially after Carla pushed her into a corner a year ago when they were alone.
All that was now forgotten as Meridith was doting over her granddaughter.
Carla and Joe got married in a nearby church, with dinner held where it all started for them. They had decided then to tie the knot, to build a family.
The smile on Meridith’s face spread from ear to ear as she doted over her granddaughter, Petal, refusing to hand her over to Pat, who had traveled for his son’s wedding.
“You’ll do it wrong and hurt her,” she told him.
“Good to see you too,” Pat murmured. “I get to hold her and see her grow up when they move to Australia,” he said.
Meridith froze.
realm of writing. With five short stories under his belt, he brings a fresh perspective and passion for storytelling to his literary endeavours.
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