You Held My Hand
written by: Nobby66
@douglas97_s
Wasted so many tears on imaginary fears,
Never known how to feel anything but bad.
Never known how to feel ‘fine and dandy’,
With me you need the patience of Gandhi!
Another night of nagging nightmares,
Well on the way back to bedtime Bedlam.
Wandering, wuthering in dazed mayhem,
Between blurred lines of mindscapes and fraught reality
where demons of my own making mock and scold.
Dragging up replays of my worthless failures,
Poison tinted scenarios, dalliances in the world of vice,
Deep scars of revenge served with ice…
Satan offers me his Trident, swears that he understands.
Showing more lurid ways to make ‘them’ pay,
Then tempting titillations to call it a day.
My momentary good-self queries drowned in phosphorus.
Me, In Heaven? Sorry, No way!’
Already booked my seat on the ‘Turpitude Express’. No less.
Medications temporarily dull the voices,
For a time they whisper, not shout.
…and then there was you.
Despite constant curses, bruised abuse
and all those ‘get the fook aways’
You stayed.
You stayed to hold my hand through every dark day.
Saved me using a one-way ticket to the end.
Pulled me back from going full ‘round the bend.’
When I tried on the meth fuelled ‘Magic hat’
You helped me to stop wearing that.
Got the help and rehab I tried to swerve,
Always there to keep my nerve.
Black day relapses tempt me back to that bottomless vault
…And if ever I don’t make it..‘Well, it’s not your fault!’
I have a wonderful chance to survive in this land,
While you are there to hold my hand….
Reside in the Dark Kingdom of Lancashire, England.
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